Dear Mimsters: See how he treats me | Should I leave or endure?

I am 27, got married in December 2015. Before we got married, we courted for a year. He was a nice and caring man and we took the decision together. But ever since we got married, he has become a totally different person. Should I leave?

When I was pregnant, I was always sick, so I could not take care of my home like before. Still, I tried to wash his clothes, cook good meals and clean as much as I could but all he did was criticize me. He treated me like a slave. I could not even watch TV.

I confided in him about something and told him not to tell anyone but he did, and when I confronted him, he beat me up. He could beat me for anything so I started rebelling. When he hits me, I will hit him back. Until he stopped. At times he beat me with cables. All these was when I was pregnant (my ever first pregnancy) There was a time I was sick and had cooked soup, I pleaded with him to help me buy rice to eat with it. He refused & then he went out & ate I slept hungry that day with a 5 months-old pregnancy.

All this worsened when his mother & sister came to our place. His mum told him to be stricter with me. He started talking to me like I was shit. He belittled me. He humiliated me at the slightest opportunity. I even started feeling inferior. He started hiding things from me. He & his sister would mock me. He even compares me with his ex girlfriends. The other day I saw a message on his phone with a lady, they exchanged love messages and pet names. He even told the girl “you know I love you.” I asked him and insulted me.

Before we got married, he told me he had only one child but I found out when I pregnant that he has 2. I forgave him but he talks bad about me to everyone. He tells me that this is his character and I cannot change. I have asked to seek for help but he won’t listen to me.

He derives joy from mocking me in the neighborhood.

To cut my story short, the doctors told me that I have high blood pressure and they may have to put me on drugs for life. I tried talking to him yesterday but it got worse. He told me I got married to him with an aim. This is a man that had nothing when we met. We lived in a single room with external public toilet. He knows the kind of suitors I had. But I chose him. He says all his ex girlfriends are better than me. I tell if they were, he would have married them. He said I love him so much and can never leave him. I cannot even stay 3 days without him but he has no respect for me. I had to resign from my work because of my pregnancy, I was always in the hospital. I am degree holder. I have no money but I plan to leave with my daughter to go to my mum’s place and start a new life.

If I have to write everything I’m going through here it will be too long. I told him that I made a mistake marrying him. Should I go ahead? The only person that gives me strength now is my daughter.