Dear MIMsters: Can I Save this Marriage or Should I Move on?

My story is a long one but please bear with me as I’m at a crossroad. I reconnected with an old school mate on Facebook. We started chatting before he traveled out of the country for his MBA. He proposed to me and I agreed. In less than 6months, he traveled down to Nigeria and we did our wedding. Our marriage will be a year old in April, so want to know if I can still save this marriage or not.

He left a week after the wedding and till now I have not been able to join him neither has he returned. The issue is he insults me at every instance. He calls me names, and threatens me with divorce at every opportunity he gets. He always brings up my past and ex at every of our conversations. He tells me that I don’t love him, it is my ex I love. Then he will write to everyone I know to tell them he can no longer stay married to me that I am a cheat who intends to kill him and inherit his property. He says that I am not submissive.

My husband has my passwords to my email and Facebook accounts and controls all I do. He doesn’t allow me post on Facebook. He will say even if I see it as slavery, that it is what the Bible says. If I say anything he will read negative meanings to it and can nag like forever. Even if I refuse to reply him, he will keep talking or chatting for days just to insult me. I see him as a mentally unstable person. I have told him several times that he is unstable because after doing all these, he apologises and says he will never do them again, that it is the devil’s work. Yet, it starts all over again.

There was a time he accused me of killing his first child. After he left Nigeria, I was sick; due to the wedding stress, and my was menses delayed. I did a pregnancy test which came out negative and I took malaria drugs, later my menses started. My husband sent me a message after a month that I killed his baby with malaria drugs but I was never pregnant. He calls me materialistic yet he has nothing on ground in Nigeria and I’ve been living with my sister after marriage because he could not afford to rent a house for me and also hoping I will join him soon.

Since a year now, I have neither had peace nor emotional stability. He hardly sends me money except on very few occasions and the highest amount so far is 15 thousand Naira. Everyone in my family has spoken to him but he has insulted some but returns to apologise that it is the devil’s handwork and would still write to them that he wants to divorce me, repeating past issues that have been resolved months ago. He says that the devil sent me to destroy his destiny. Sometimes he writes on Facebook that I deceived him into marrying me that I am not a Christian but a pretender. People will start calling me to ask what is happening. Recently, he wrote lies on Facebook about me and called my father to tell him he wants to divorce me for lying to him.

One day we had an argument, the next day, he wrote in an email to me that God has defeated me. He accused me of sending a vehicle to hit him on his way to work, but the vehicle missed him, that I want to kill him. I got angry and blocked him on Whatsapp and on Facebook. Now he’s calling everybody to beg me that I am his wife and he knows I am a good woman. He wants me to take him back despite all his weaknesses. But I am scared of his mental health and crazy attitude. My family members said they don’t want me to continue being married to him because of his irrational behaviour. He has destroyed my image with people who don’t even know me. Now I don’t know what to do because if I accept him back I will have to join him in a foreign which is not an English speaking one. In the past, he has even said when I come, he will not allow me associate with any Nigerian or any women group. Can I save this marriage or should I move on?