Dear MIMsters: I don’t know why am I still in this relationship despite all the advices I have been given?

Admin, I appreciate you for this wonderful platform you created for mothers to share their problems on and get directions from the fantastic advices and bitter truth from other mothers.

I’ve been following this page for years now and believe me, I’ve learnt so much here. But the big question remains “why have I not been able to grab all the solutions and advices rendered to many post (problems) similar to mine? I decided to share my story with the hope and believe that I will take the advice when given directly to me.

Here goes my story: I met a young man in December 2014. I was in my early 30s when he told me that he was looking for a wife. He seemed serious and responsible so I gave in. It was a relationship every man and woman would wish him/herself. It was like we’ve known each other for ages. We were more like siblings and best friends.

Three months later, we started making plans for him to officially meet my family. He applied for a leave at his office to spend some time in the east as both families reside there. I became so free with him, made love without any protection , was even wishing I get pregnant since he’s already going to meet my parents. Mistake of the century.

Minsters, never you get so comfortable with a man until he says I do. Back to my story; at beginning of July, I became pregnant, Hallelujah!! So I thought. I was overwhelmed with joy but let me not bore you with what happend when I broke the news to him.

Can you believe that he still traveled to the East but never went to see my people. Rather, he spent the entire time with another woman, building another relationship with her (he told me so). I became a shadow of myself and thought, “what will my family say?” What about my friends who believe I come from a Christian background? What about my job? Who’s going to help me shoulder the expenses? (But why didn’t I think about all these before opening my legs for a man without protection?)

Believe me, even the wisest person would never believe that “all na wash”. My baby came and I love her, for she’s my pride. He came back, beige,  begged and begged. Close friends warned me not to accept him back, but for where? I still loved him and wanted my child to grow with a father. He was my best friend, my brother and I couldn’t just let him go, so, I accepted him back.

Eeewoo!!! Who told you to do that? (I dug my grave). Are you reading this? Please be careful if you are planning to accept him/her back. It went from one insult to another, from one abuse to the other, one week of being lovers and three months of enmity. He wrecked my emotions. “So why can’t you let him go, why?”

That’s the big question. I know very well that this isn’t what I want but why is it so difficult if not impossible to let him go? I have a well paid job, can take good care of myself and my child so finance isn’t the problem here, so why am I not letting go of this feelings and thoughts about him? Is it because I have a child for him? Is it because of how we relate (honestly we are so good when together, people wish to have our kind of relationship), but is it enough to loose my sanity?

My fellow mothers, prayer warriors in the house, please pray for me to come out of this mess. People who have gone through such an ordeal, please tell me how you scaled through. People, please talk to me, tell me that hard truth, anything that can make me listen and decide. I wish some can even whip me for better understanding. I’m sorry for the long story but please don’t pass by without dropping experiences, prayers, advice, reproof, anything. Please say something to me and my God will bless you. I pray neither you nor your loved ones shall ever experience this. Amen!