Dear MIMsters: We have more power over our husbands than we think

On the issue of dealing with a cheating husband, I would like to share my story. We have more power over our husbands than we think. Here’s why;

Few days ago, I laid beside my husband as he scrolled through his messages when I saw the content of one of his chats. I could hear the sound of my own heart beat as I discovered that my husband has been flirting with a married woman who lives in another country and has been sending him her nude photos.

We have been married for 8 years and this is the first time I have had a reason not to trust my husband. I confronted him. He wanted to deny it by saying it’s not what it seems, then wanted to turn it round and blame me for accusing him but I stood my grounds and said I have seen everything. He wanted to threaten me with divorce and I told him I was ready to buy my own plane ticket and go back home to my country. I gave him a piece of my mind.

When he realised how angry I was, he started to beg. I told him to move out of my sight and for the first time in 10 years since we met, he saw the other part of me and he was very terrified. I stopped talking to him and he couldn’t eat for days. He had to call my parents to beg me though he didn’t tell them what the issue was. When he realised he couldn’t just push the issue aside, he came out clean and apologised.

Out of pain, I nearly posted the woman’s picture on social media so her husband could see what she’s been up to.

I have been emotionally hurt and I don’t know if I can trust him or even love him the way I used to. He has tried to show me how remorseful he is and promised it will never happen. He pleads with me to not let it affect our relationship. It still hurts anytime I remember and I don’t know if I can forget and trust him like before. But what I learnt something big from what happened.

As woman we have more power over our husbands than we think. We only need wisdom and maturity to handle them. We need to be financial independent and set boundaries in your marriage. Let your husband know what is deal breaker for you and let him know you won’t hesitate to walk out if he crosses those boundaries because once a man thinks you can’t live without him, he starts to misbehave.

However, my question is: do I get over the pain of such an emotional affair? And can I ever trust my husband again? Are women really our own enemies ?