Dear MIMsters: I’m gradually turning to a nut case because of my Ex

I have not been able to get over my ex since we broke up a year ago and I’m gradually turning to a nut case. We dated for 8 years before we broke up due to the fact that he’s back in communication with a lady he once jilted me for.

Surprisingly, they got married last December and have since both relocated to the States. I’m no longer bitter and I’m truly happy he is happy. But the problem is most times, I think of him and call his name out loud without even knowing it. My colleague called my attention to it at work recently. He asked me who so person is and I was surprised he mentioned my Ex’s name. I asked him where he heard the name from and he said I have called the name out loud for like 8 times in the two months we have been in the same office. He said if it is a man, I should go get him. I felt so ashamed.

I have scribbled his name on my desk at work, on any sheet of paper (I am a freelance artist). I painted his face on my old desk and so on.

The main reason I’m asking for help now is I went to a friend’s house and I used a toothpick to write my Ex’s name on her wall. When I realized what I had done, I scraped it off and destroyed the painting on the wall. I had to cut my visit short because I couldn’t explain to her what happened to the wall.

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I don’t pick my his calls anymore or reply his chats. I just want to get over him. I want to stop calling his name or drawing him. I don’t know if there is professional I can talk to or how I can totally forget that part of my memory. I didn’t take any blood oath with him.

I have tried dating two other guys after him but it didn’t work out. Please help me MIMsters.