Dear MIMsters: Hubby’s Niece Did This To My 2-Year-Old Son and I’m Expected to Forgive?
My hubby’s 13-year-old niece stays with us. Her father is late and I personally asked her mum to let her stay with us to ease her burden since she has two other daughters. However, I’ll never stop regretting that kind-hearted decision.
At first, her bed-wetting and habit of keeping soiled clothes in the room for days was a headache. She would also avoid chores at home, fail to write her notes at school and do her assignments. She also has a Masters degree in telling lies but I was determined to keep correcting her in love until the unexpected happened.
Last week, I checked her phone (I had given her my old phone for easy and free communication with her mum) and saw that she had opened a Facebook account. I was shocked and asked her why she did, and she said it’s because her friends are all on Facebook. I told her there is time for everything and seized the phone.
To my utmost dismay, this past weekend, I was doing laundry and left my phone inside. When I finished, I took my phone to browse on how to make Zobo and saw a porn movie someone was watching on the Internet. When I asked her, she lied as usual. I soon discovered she had browsed other different websites I had not even heard of. So, I called her again and showed them all to her. She initially refused to confess but when I threatened to beat her up, she said she has been watching porn for over a year now.
I became very worried because I have a 2-year-old son whom I noticed likes pressing his private part all the time recently. If you wear him a pant and trouser, he will remove it just to press his privates, and on one occasion, I was lying down and he climbed on top of me and started doing the movement. It baffled me because hubby and I never do such in his presence.
So, I asked her what she has been doing with my son. She denied at first but when I threatened to beat her again, she started confessing that she usually licks his private and fondle it. She also confessed she puts his hand in her private in and out, and puts her pant on his penis to make it longer – I have never heard of that but she said she read it on the Internet.
When hubby came and heard all that transpired, he wanted to beat the hell out of her but I intervened. Now, in as much as I still try to love and help her follow the right path, I have to put my son first. I am heartbroken and don’t think I can ever treat her the same way I used to.
Hubby has not told me his decision yet, but I now watch my son closely and keep him away from her. Her mother is very nice and cried when she heard all the mischief her daughter has been up to. Things are so bad for her right now that her other daughters now live with my mother-in-law in the village. But, why will I still want to help or keep her in my house despite what she has done to my son?
Your son ain’t safe around her please. She knows way too much for her age and it worries me too. I can’t trust a girl like that anymore no matter the love or relationship even If she were my niece. I think you should send her away and help from a distance. this is too much to handle abeg.
You took the words right outta my mouth Mon, help from a distance is the best. I can never place anyone above my kids, never.
This is so heartbreaking, i can’t even deal with this right now, for a 13 year old she’s spoilt rotten. Please send her home and help from afar, that the best thing you can do right now. You have to focus on how to rehabilitate your son, this is way too much.
Oh God this is disheartening. Please help from a distance.
Ooh God! This is serious, pls send her back home and help her from afar
This is a terrible situation; the only option now is to take her away from you, and assist her from a distance
hmmmmn pls hlp her from afar
I’m shocked you are asking this. Do you know the psychological trauma you are putting your toddler through simply because you wanna be nice? Please send her back to her mum and be sending her allowances if you still have the heart(I wouldn’t give a kobo if any idiot tries that with my child)
You may want to help (which is not so bad) but pls, consider your child. Send the girl away before she contaminate and pollute ur child more than she have done already. U can still offer help if she return to her mother by sending her mother money for upkeep and education.
Send that corrupt girl away if you really love ur son
Please send her away.. For the sake of your son and pray hard for your son… He has been abused and he will need to heal all his life… You can’t afford for her to stay in your house…
Please send her back to her mom, you can send them money from time to time for their use. You need to restore your son back and you can achieve it without her being around.
My policy has always been that parents should raise their children by themselves, period! What her mum needs is financial assistance. Give her the much you can, but let her stay with her ‘open eye’ daughter! Whatever hubby decides, make sure that girl leaves your house, she has not changed o. Change is not that easy. Please, protect your toddler!
The best is returning her to her mother while you help from a distance,if not,you’ll be so upset and hurt her in anger and everyone will start blaming you not knowing the root of the problem.Discuss with your hubby,involve a counselor while you call the mum to come for some counseling sessions too which might help her,pls make arrangements for monthly support,continue to work seriously on your two years old son too,physically and spiritually.good lluck!
If you love ur son take her back to her mother
Please let the girl go back to her mother, or join her other siblings at your mother-in-law place. She needs to be separated from your son as soon as possible. There is no way you can rehabilitate her under your roof with your son. Please let her go for the sake of your son.
At thirteen, she has really gone far and will be difficult to correct..The best thing to do now is to send her home and help from afar..you must have to protect your son.
My God
its well my sister, I will advise u sent her back to her mother but always send d little u’ve for her upkeep. the lady is already corrupt
I pray that God will bless your heart and lead you and show you you what to do. You truly have a the heart of a mother and want to do what is right . I believe your priority is your son right now and you need to take him to a counselor as soon as possible. I think your husband’s niece has some deep rooted issues( may have been sexually abused herself) and she needs support and love and not condemnation as suggested. If you are led to help her, please do but you must prayerfully support her, seek professional help and support from experienced/matured/ non judgemental mothers and friends. God bless
you say my mind and i also thick she is not ordinal at 13 she need prayers.
Madam your son comes first pls. Send her away n help from a distance.
Return her back 2 her mother bcos if u keep on watching another thing may happen bcos that girl is corrupt already
Pls ma follow ur heart to m s not orderly ok take her to ur pastor for prayers ok may God gv u d grace ijn
I was abused as a child and as a result, I am close to my baby like glue! U have to send her away, no questions abt it. Do it ASAP n pls, mind who u bring into your home subsequently.
Hello, usually I don’t comment on issues. I believe it’s your choice to do whatever you feel like doing. But I will ask you a question, if she is your daughter, where will you send her to or if she is your sister and it’s just both of you and you are orphaned. What will you do? I know you and others will say I will never have a child like that, but remember the mother too did not pray her child will turn out like that. If you will take my advise please help her by taking to see a counselor, pastor that is spirit filled for prayers and possibly a psychologist. Be her friend talk to her heart to heart maybe she was also abused, who knows. But like I say it’s you alone that can make the choice you desire. God bless you.
God bless you Ma.
U said my mind.if she were her daughter, she would have to find solution n not send her away. May God help you.
My husband brought his niece an 11 years old girl to live with us against my wish. Living with an underaged person is a child abuse and i didn’t want that but being that the girl is better off living with us, i accepted her on the condition that i get a matured domestic help so she can be allowed to be a child. To cut long story short, this girl was obviously abused in every way one can imagine, she is a professional liar, thief, act of deception. Everyday comes with a new problem both in school and home. I continued training her til i caught her kissing my son iin an xrated way. I’m a pregnant house wife with an 11 months son. I called her mom who first told me that her daughter was corrupted by their help who is 2 yrs older than her daughter and is still living with them. I sent her back against my husbands wish before the circle will repeat itself in my household and told my husband to sustain her financially if he want.
Keep her closely you hear, let her still stay… you will post the next story soon. But to be sincere with you. a preserve childhood is better than a repaired adulthood. Preserve your son’s childhood….
Stupidity is giving a girl of 13years old a browsing phone,u shud av giving her small phone dat is suitable for calls only.
Madam u are in for much of d blame
best thing return her to her mum ASAP so you will not regret this no matter the amount of tears the mum sheds be giving hem money and things they need pls.
To me, sending her away is not the solution, you have feeling for her thats why she is staying with you. Pls try and help her 1. Take her for a good deliverance its might be ordinarily, 2.monitor her so much and be more harsh to including every body around her, dont tell her have any acess to telivision music, phone etc. Let her know what she is doind is very bad she not know If you send her away, she will become so bad and useless in life and make sure you keep your son from her.
I’m of the opinion that she be taken for deliverance cos taking her home would make her go wilder than what she has become.Jesus will make the difference in her life and restoration is possible.
Pls take her back, you cannot afford her, she has gone too far, you cannot come and do good that will kill you.think of your sons safety first! !
sending her home is not the solution ..she might also might have been a victim of this from a pedophile you have too look for a way to help her
Your hope should be in the lord…Tryst God for your son…and keep helping the girl..but from a distance.. Pray for her as much as you do for your son..May the lord reward all your efforts..
this girl has been abused continually without her mother and people around her noticing. you were observant that is why you noticed. most times girls are usually abused by close relations friends and neighbors you least expect. in as much as we are advising you take her home , you can take her for counselling. find out more from her. the revelations will startle you. she needs help. i am very much convinced an adult has been behind her abuse. whatever decisions you take God help you,
Take your son to hospital first for proper medical check up cos that kind of girl must have explored outside to. Then, without thinking twice, catapult her back to her mother and give your help from a distance. Again, anytime u notice your son with such erotic behaviour, frown at him, spank his hand when he touches his penis. Yes, he is a child but he will learn that such things are wrong.
That girl needs deliverance. Even if you’ll have to eventually return her back to her mum, please try and assist her morally and spiritually. It’s so obvious she’s experienced some sorts of molestations and she’s now used to it. She needs serious help.