Dear MIMsters: Should I Ignore my Pastor’s Prophecy and Give this Guy Who Loves Me a Chance?

After being single for about 3 years, I’m at the verge of ending a relationship I started three months ago with this police guy at church. We are both 27 years old. Before giving him, a chance, I told him I wouldn’t condone lies, secrets, nor any form of ill treatments from him and that the day he cheats, he is automatically telling me he is fed up and I will take a bow as I am not ready to settle for less.

My Pastor seemed to trust this guy and said a lot of good things about him. Even though he wasn’t really my spec, I said yes to him because I  thought he was a God fearing man who sincerely loves God.

On getting close, I realised he’s been talking and proposing to a lot of ladies at the same time. Initially, I took it lightly cause I thought he was in search for a woman and would stop when he finds what he wants. But after we started dating, a few of these chats continued

There is this African American woman in her fifties whom according to him, have been friend with for years. I stumbles on their chats and found they’ve been exchanging erotic and filthy messages. She sent him her naked videos where she was fingering herself and he enjoyed it, telling her where to touch and hold.

I was very angry, he apologised and said it’s just sexting and won’t happen in real life because there’s no way this woman will ever travel to Africa. I took some steps back and watched him from afar.

He told me of his immediate ex whose parents didn’t approve of him and blamed her for not fighting for him. He told his ex called and asked to see him. I didn’t object. Later that day, I visited him and found semen marks on his sheets and had a soiled tissue on the side table.

He denied it at first but later admitted and said he couldn’t control himself, so he kissed and hugged her which lead to him ejaculating and according to him they didn’t have sex. Fast forward to Mother’s Day when he visited me, I took his phone to check the time when this same Ex sent a reply to his romantic Mothers day message that he sent to her came in. In her reply, she told him how much she loved him. I could see that he had already deleted his own message he sent to her.

He confessed to have not been fully over her and she is still in love with him. Now, I feel nothing for this who actually has nothing. I wonder what he would do if he had it all.

My contact was given to this 30-year-old guy based in the UK and we are of the same tribe. He says he’s in search of a wife. His very good friend pointed me out and he has been checking me up on FB since 2012 but only got in touch now. He had inquired a lot about me and my family and done a lot of background checks. We’ve been talking for a while now and getting to know him. This guy is head over heels in love with me already. He is a nice person and serious about settling down with me.

He had already asked me to get my passport and travel documents ready to relocate to be with after our wedding and to work there. (I am a nurse). I am ready to give him a chance. I just don’t want any man but one who will treat me right, love and cherish me as I deserve to be and that I see that in him.

The problem is that a few years ago, I received a prophecy from my Pastor that keeps ringing in my ears. I was told my true husband isn’t going to be one from my tribe. Meanwhile, this UK guy and I are from the same tribe.

If I am to overlook this prophecy and say yes to him, I don’t want my pastor and my church members to say I dumped this police guy cos I met a Janded guy. I did not tell my pastor the dirty things I discovered about the police guy.