Mine is Better than Yours: 6 Signs That You Are A Competitive Mom

By Mark Wealth

Some call them hyper-moms, some say they’re jealous moms. Some see them as nosey moms while others see them as alpha-moms. Looking at them from a superficial point of view, they are simply being competitive and overly so. Being a competitive mom is not bad in itself but we do know that too much of anything is bad so moms need to be careful not to exhibit those character traits that make people see them as being negatively competitive.

Here are some give-away signs that show you as being a competitive mommy.

Paparazzi Tendencies
It’s natural to be inquisitive about how other children are doing in terms of growth and development. Most mothers are wired like that. Sometimes it’s out of concern for the other kids or they are busy worrying that their own child is not growing or developing as they ought to. But if it was possible to take a peek into some of these mothers’ minds, we would observe that they are gathering information for the sake of competitive analysis. And of course, they want their kids to be in the lead.
You can do a bit of soul searching reflection and get down to the real reasons why you want to know about how your friend’s child is doing in school or how they’re handling the stress of motherhood. Don’t try to justify yourself now. If you see its for the sake of comparison, then this is a sign that you’re a competitive mom.

Comparative Parenting
So you think you’re being genuinely concerned about those other babies and their mothers, eh? But you find yourself asking your child or her class teacher why your child couldn’t get a higher score in their weekly assessment test or why he didn’t score any goals in the soccer match. You go the extra mile to hire a teacher for extra mural lessons and if you’re handling that, you push that child so hard that he either starts getting higher grades at the expense of some other development markers or starts losing focus and interest.
Either way, if the reason why you’re trying to make your child “do better” is for comparison and competition, you are a competitive mom and you’re hurting that child in some subtle way. You want to pull back on this “need”.

Brag and Boast
Oh no, you don’t brag or boast, you’re only proud of your child and want to show all their milestone achievements. You go on and on and even spice up the gist with some “I didn’t even have to teach him, he just did it by himself” fallacies. And you do this just to make other parents (and kids) feel that your child is special, way ahead of his time. Reality check, ma’am: you’re competitive!
It may seem harmless but it’s actually harming your relationship with other children.
Hostile To Competition
One would think that these overly competitive moms should welcome a good competition but when they come across a child or mother that seems to be getting all the attention for their excellent results, they enter hater mode. They start finding flimsy or non-existing reasons to attack mother and child. Some are even more dishonourable in their fight by spreading rumours from half truths that they got from their paparazzi efforts. This is definitely not good.

Attention Seeker
According to some experts, one of the reasons why moms get competitive is because they feel like they are not good enough. In order to overcome this, they use any means to get affirmation from every and anyone around them. When they are in this mode, they seem charming and generous, dishing out complements here and gifts there and smiling everywhere. But wait until there’s a gathering like the PTA or better yet, a competition like a Spelling bee or sports festival. Then you’ll see them become corrupt politicians leveraging on the affection and attention they’ve “bought” to make their kids take first position or worse, to spoil the reputation of the kids that seem like threats. They may even get down and dirty by making derogatory comments about the winning team just to ruin the sweet taste of victory.
Such mothers really need help, need some Jesus in their lives. Amen.

See Also

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More. Better. Worse.
Competitive moms ALWAYS have more of whatever they’re counterparts are experiencing. If you couldn’t sleep until 2 a.m yesterday, they couldn’t sleep until 4 a.m. If you couldn’t sleep until 4 a.m, they didn’t even get to lie down for more than 5 minutes. Are you happy because your husband helped in holding the baby while you took a much needed shower? That’s nothing. Their husband held the baby, changed his diaper and even breastfed the baby. What are talking about?
These moms see themselves as alpha moms and nobody has anything on them. They’re good and bad like that. And so are their children.

Do you know any mom like this? Are they making you or your kid feel bad, putting a strain on the relationship? Do you think you fit into any or some of these description? Then you’re experiencing the toxicity of competitive motherhood and by competitive here, we mean over competitiveness. It’s harmful to children around you, whether yours or theirs and something decisive should be done about it. Maybe in some other article we’ll look at how to deal with such moms or tendencies. For now, take it easy and enjoy raising those beautiful kids; we’re all unique in our own way.