Dear MIMsters: How My MIL Succeeded in Ruining My 2 Years Marriage. I Hope She’s Happy

This is the story of my life. Right now I have become a single mother of one after 2 years marriage. My ordeal started one year after marriage.

My MIL wanted to know everything going on in our home. I was married for 2 years. During those 2 years, I had three miscarriages. When the 1st miscarriage occurred, I know I had stressed myself too much. The second miscarriage occurred while I was on bedrest, and the 3rd, my MIL insisted I shouldn’t go to the hospital and recommended I use an Alagbo.

I followed her to the Alagbo (herbalist) who did somethings and gave me different herbal drinks. My parents insisted I go to the hospital. After plenty wahala, my husband finally agreed to take me to the hospital. But my MIL wasn’t happy. At the end of the day, I lost the pregnancy again.

For my fourth pregnancy, my parents insisted I come and stay with them and use a trusted doctor, and thank God everything went well. My MIL only came to see me once throughout my stay with my parents. I thought things were going to get better after putting to bed. My son was born in the 34the week via a CS cause I started bleeding. After giving birth, the real wahala with my husband and his family started.

My husband and his family started planning for naming Ceremony. (NB: I was with my parents in another state and was still in the hospital). My husband and his mum had their own plans for me already which I didn’t know. His plan was for me to embark on a long journey from my parent’s house to another state where we reside for the naming ceremony and to dump me with his mum in a 2 bed room apartment with 5 grand kids.

My parents told him that I can’t travel a long distance journey at the moment that he should postpone the naming for a week or two till I’m fit to travel long distance. But they went ahead to do the naming ceremony behind us. After the naming ceremony, my husband came to pick us and I told him that I want my mom to come and help with the baby for just 2 weeks and after that his mum can take over. My husband said no, because he and his mom already had their own plans.

To cut the long story short, he took my mum and I to Lagos out of annoyance. Lagos was another battle field on its own. My husband started punishing me, my baby and my mum. He didn’t give me money for food, no money for formula for his son. He faced my mum and insulted her, and he said he is no more interested in the marriage because he believes that my mum is controlling me. All these happened just  2 weeks after I gave birth.

I was still on high BP drugs caused by pregnancy. He didn’t even consider his new born baby. He frustrated my life just because I didn’t come for the naming ceremony and refused to go and stay with his mum after birth, and because my mum followed me to Lagos. After waiting for 2 weeks hoping and thinking he’ll would change and he didn’t. I packed my things and left his house. Right now I am back in my parent’s home.

He now wants to see his child 2 months after I left. He didn’t send any money for the child’s upkeep until shortly before he indicated interest in coming to see his child. He sent only 5k. I told him he can’t come to my house and has he forgotten he abused my parents and chased my mom out of the house. He has gone to report me to the social welfare office that I don’t want him to see his son. Right now, that is where we meet every month and he gives 10k for the child’s upkeep. I know I might have made some wrong decisions too but what joy does some MIL deprive from destroying their son’s home. She controls my husband’s and tells him what she wants and he’ll come home and start fighting me that that is what we’ll do. Even if it will jeopardize my health. Right now our marriage is broken I hope she’ll be happy wherever she is. (NB: she always tells me she’s the one that asked my husband to marry me as if am disabled).