Dear MIMsters: I Got Married for the Wrong Reasons But it’s Hard For Me to Leave

When I met this guy in school, it was love at first sight. His friends didn’t like me, so they did all they could to keep me aways from him but I ignored them. A year later, my dad died, Things became financially rough and difficult for my family as my uncles took almost everything my dad had. Problem started when my mum had to scratch the earth to sustain us. In the midst of all these, l got pregnant but l decided to abort it and got married to someone else for the wrong reasons.

I didn’t mention that l started having suitors coming from west, north and south. l thought l could move on with another man and that with time, I will be over with my boyfriend who was still quite young to get married, let alone start a family, that’s why I aborted the pregnancy.

So l got married to one of my many suitors, knowing fully well that we did not love each other. Obviously, he wanted to marry me because I’m good looking and can give him good looking children but me on the other hand wanted financial support for my siblings.

But after a year of being married and living together, our living in our home was like living in hell. There was no joy at all. Making love was like committing suicide. I couldn’t get pregnant and he loves sex too much. I didn’t like having sex with him.

We considered having a divorce but we thought it will ruin many things like his image, his mother’s image, and my family’s reputation. Now I’m suffocating in this marriage and we behave like complete strangers sometimes. He dislike everything l do and I dislike everything about him.

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I  returned to Nigeria last month. l stayed in his elder brother’s house. His wife practical turned me into her maid. Told my husband who doesn’t care and said I should take as a sacrifice.

I know l signed for this but l have been crying non-stop and hoping to find a way out. How do I find my way out of this loveless marriage?