Dear MIMsters: How Do I Help My Husband Solve His Problem

I’m a Muslim and married with a kid. I’m a graduate waiting to do my service while trying to help my husband solve his problem.

I got married as a virgin. On my wedding night, my hubby wanted to have sex with me but he didn’t penetrate fully because I was crying due to the pain. During the first month, I didn’t like sex because it is usually painful.

Subsequently, I began to get use to it then I noticed that my hubby ejaculates quicker than normal but I didn’t mind because after all I don’t like sex. Three months after of our wedding, I got pregnant and my dislike for sex increased until after I put to birth.

Now, I enjoy the pleasure of sex but the unfortunate thing is that it doesn’t last. When I asked him, initially, he got really concerned and started looking for solutions and he confessed to me that he has had this problem even before we got married and had taken lots of medications for it. I felt some pity for him and supported him, then we started hunting for solutions together. He was given some drug by a doctor but it was not effective.

He even took injections from other doctors but still didn’t work. Recently, I noticed he has changed and is no longer disturbed about the issue anymore, meanwhile for the past seven months, we have been having 5-10 seconds sex. When I try to talk to him about it, he just keeps mute.

We had a misunderstanding some months ago and he insulted me simply because I went to the to see someone in the neighborhood without his consent. He told me it’s only a dog that roams the street without its master’s permission. I felt very hurt with that statement because where I come from, if you call someone a dog, it means that person sleeps around. I told him he was wrong to call me a dog and that he shouldn’t call me that again. But he repeated it. Then, I told me if I am a dog, I wouldn’t have been able bear with him, knowing his problem. The next thing he said was that if I am not comfortable with him the way he is, I can make a choice.

He also added that any woman who can’t stay with him the way he is can go. I felt really bad. Since then, he has stopped looking for ways to solve his problem. Any time he wants sex, he will just do his usual five seconds and sleep off leaving me unsatisfied and he doesn’t even care. I even suggested a drug for him but he said he doesn’t have money. I’m frustrated about the whole thing and divorce is not an option for me. I just want to know what I can do to make him realize he has to do something so that I can at least support him to still bear it for some time.

Fellow mothers please give me an intelligent way to deal with this. Note: he’s the I-don’t-care type and ignoring him in bed won’t do anything as he said told me that he can stay away from me for a year and I know he means it. He has a lot of ego and gets angry for the slightest things. With this kind of attitude, how can I make him solve his problem?