Dear MIMsters: My Mother Is Mean To My Daughter and I

admin

I actually had a rough childhood growing up with my mum because she is mean. Always has been.

My mum always poured her anger and frustration on me for reasons best know to her. When I was as young as 12, my mum would throw my things out of her house, asking me to go to my father’s house. At 13, I took care of my baby brother as if I was his biological mum.

While my mum slept at night, I would stay awake all night nursing her son. I even had to fan him with a hand fan when power goes off. I washed his clothes and napkins every morning and kept the house in order before leaving for school.

At a point, my own mother poured hot water on me from a flask because I did not allow the water boil properly (the improperly boiled water actually peeled my skin). She asked me not to touch her food. At times, the only time I ate was in school when lunch was served.

When I first saw my period, I told my mother, and she asked me to get out of her front. My mum made the throwing of my bag outside her house a hobby to an extent I started going to my gradma’s house whenever she did that. Even when I go there, she would come over and yell at her own mother and ask me to leave her mother’s house.

At 17, I ended up in a relationship with a guy who had money and got pregnant the first time I had sex and had a child. Even when I had my child, she didn’t come to see me. She lost her husband 2 years ago, and things haven’t been good with her. My daughter is six now and I am in final year as a student.

In January, she asked for my daughter to stay with her which I agreed to since I hold no grudge against her. My baby’s dad sends upkeep money frequently, buys provision, does everything she wants him to do financially.

He even buys clothes for her two kids whenever he buys for our child, but she still showers abuses on me and my baby’s dad. She makes my six year old baby do all the chores in the house. My daughter is looking so thin now. Whatever we do for her doesn’t satisfy her. He takes them out every Saturday. If he’s very busy and doesn’t take them out one weekend, she will complain.

All she wants is money money money!!! She doesn’t even want to know how I manage my life in school. No matter what I give her, she still insults me at my back, telling my younger one poor things about me. As if I am working in an oil company. I have taken my daughter from her to avoid a repetition of what she did to me.

Even when I gave her money as excursion fee for my daughter, my kid brother and sister, simply because the money was short of 1 thousand Naira, my daughter did not partake in the excursion. I gave her 11 thousand instead of 12 thousand. She even says mean things to my daughter as if she has ever spent a dime on her. I feel like avoiding her for life as I really don’t know how to deal with her problems.