How Women Can Avoid Being Easy Target for Toxic Men on Social Media

Adesua Iyoyojie 

The social media is a tricky place to be, it encourages you to pour your heart and say your mind.

We all have virtual friends that encourage and listen to us whenever we have something to say, that alone can motivate us to always update our feelings. So we begin to share our thoughts as it is without restrictions.

The social media is made up of all manner of people, the good, bad and ugly and status updates or activities could send the wrong message and attract the wrong people.

We unconsciously allow ourselves be perceived as easy target, and it can be avoided.

Here are things that may send the wrong message:

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1. Lack of confidence
When you update your status on social media and beg people to say something nice.
Example ,please friends tell me my hair is beautiful. When they say opposite, you pull it down .

You always make posts awaiting people validation.
They are people online that no matter how bad or unattractive they look, nobody says it because they know it won’t count.
When you come out like a woman waiting for someone to say you are lovely before you believe it, some men spot it and try ways to make you feel better about yourself.
They know you need it and they are ready to give you with ulterior motives.

2. Sign of Depression
When you are always making sad updates and you always sound depressing, some Men see it like you need love badly
They come to prophesy wrong love and won’t back down until they get what they want

3. Repeatedly telling stories of how you were “dumped”
Come on girl are you trash?
Why do you always update status talking about how men took turns with you and dumped you
No they didn’t dump you, you broke up.
Now get over it.
Some Men perceive it that you are trash hence the” dump”.
Talk about your stories but not from the victim angle.

4. Always soliciting for financial assistance
Girl go get a job.
When you are always on social media pleading with your friends you need money for yourself for different reasons every single time, you attract the wrong men with money.

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5. Drama
Sweetheart you don’t need drama.
You are everywhere on social Media for the wrong reasons everytime.
You will definitely attract wrong dramatic men

6. You wear the victim cloak all the time
Your ex husband left you.
Your boyfriend cheated on you.
You are a poor single mum.
Your kids are out of school.
You don’t have food.
You don’t have a job.
Life is unfair.
Baby girl stop it.
Stop complaining and start living life.
You made mistakes ,admit them and start living.
Don’t attract the men that would see you as a charity project

7. Spilling and exposing your weaknesses
Some Men are good predators,
When you come out on social media to say things like I sleep like a log of wood, I could be sleeping in a burning house and won’t know it is burning.
They monitor you, become your friend and take advantage of it.
You could be raped while you sleep sis.
You gave out that information.

8. Loneliness
Do you always show how lonely you are or feel?. You take pictures of you alone in your apartment, looking unhappy.
That could send a wrong signal.
Some men might see it as a call – a call for sex.
A call for unwanted company.

9. Are you always looking sad in your pictures?
Always using negative captions?
Always making negative status update?
They say misery loves company.
Some men might think you are miserable and want to come pose as friends.

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10.Exposing family problems and secrets
When you always create the impression you are From a dysfunctional home and badly need a family of your own .
It might sound like you lack love as a child.
Some Men always love to prey on such vulnerable women.

11. When you can’t control your emotions
Are you heartbroken? Are you a stressed
Why not take a break?. The more you stay on social media, the more you expose yourself.

12. When you post nude pictures
This sounds like a ticket for psychos änd all manner of evil men.
This is Africa, we are not used to seeing naked women on the street at day or on the street.
So when you expose nude pictures, you become one easy target and is seen as a sexual object

13. The groups you join
If you belong to a sex group and always make comments like I am sex starved, you might send a very wrong signal to the wrong set of men . Join all the groups if you like, socialise and interact but don’t let the wrong set of people follow you to your page

14. When you are on every match making group on social media dropping your number publicly in search of a husband .
Yes dear I know you want one but take it easy, you are exposing yourself.

All these and more can be avoided and yet one could still be an easy target but it is best when it is completely avoided. Prevention is still better.

Social media is a blessing, it could also be a curse if we don’t thread carefully.