Dear MIMsters: I Reconciled with My Ex Thinking He’d Change, You Won’t Believe What He Did Now

I reconciled with my ex this January after breaking up for a whole year.

We were engaged to be married and our official introduction had already been done two years ago. Immediately after the introduction in December 2016, we broke up.

He’s based abroad. I cut off the engagement because of his character. This guy has been a pain in my neck. He doesn’t respect me nor my family. Anytime we have a problem, it’s either due to him asking me to send him back all the money he has given me or other stuff he says.

After a whole year of being apart, we got back again in January. I really thought he had changed and I was happy. Everything was going on fine until two weeks ago when he called me on video and I heard a female voice in the background. When I asked him, he said it’s his friend’s girlfriend, that they came visiting.

I didn’t believe him so I asked him to show me the girl so I can say hi to her. Immediately, he dropped the call and didn’t call back again. Don’t get me wrong guys. I know he’s been cheating and I take it that maybe it’s due to the distance. After a while, he told me the truth and apologized to me. I had to forgive him because I was tired of having issues with him again.

The last straw was last week he sent me 10k to braid my hair. As I was braiding my hair the next day, he called on video requesting to see the hair I was making. When I showed him, he started shouting, saying that this is not the type of hair he wants me to make. Said he wants a tiny twist. I apologized and told him that I didn’t know but he told me to loose the braid and asked the hairdresser to start afresh.

My sisters, this woman had already gone far with the braids but she started again from the beginning. I explained that the tiny twist he wants me to make requires about 3 or 4 days and it costs more than 10k. He said he doesn’t care if it takes two weeks, that that’s the one he wants. I apologized to him, promising him I will make the braid next time that is too late to lose the one I was already doing.

He even got more mad and started saying all sorts of things to me. That I’m not loyal or submissive. That I’m lucky he’s not there with me. He even said he will kill me if I try nonsense with him. I had to put off my data so I will stop receiving his messages.

On getting to the house that evening, I narrated everything to my sister. He called my sister as well and she had to apologize on my behalf for peace to reign but this guy still insisted I loose the hair. My sister had to accept and he promised to send some more money the next day so I could go and make the tiny twist he wanted.

The next morning, he called again asking me how much the hair would cost and I said 25k. He got mad and said he will send only 15k, that I should use the 10k he sent initially to complete it. This is the same person who said that he would send any amount of money to make sure I make the hair.

Anyway, I told him I’ve already spent the money but he said he doesn’t care. I got so mad and I started shouting at him. I stopped picking his calls and everything. Even my mum was so surprised at his attitude and now she’s saying things that are contrary to our wedding.

For two days guys, we were still talking about this hair. Everybody in the house got tired of the whole thing. I don’t know what to do. I’m beginning to fall out of love with this guy. He’s abusing me emotionally. I’m no longer sure if I want to marry him because he doesn’t make me happy. He’s worse than before.

During our one year break up, I met this guy from my neighboring town who lives abroad as well. I’ve known him before he traveled. He had asked me out before but I had turned him down because we lived in different towns.

We reconnected on Facebook and started communicating. I must confess guys, I fell in love with him. He has been back since the 25th of December but I have refused to go and see him because I was scared. He’s been begging to see me and has finally decided to come and see me even if I don’t want him to.

I’ve been pushing this guy away because of my fiancé. Meanwhile, this guy is cool, calm and collected. He respects me and apologizes to me anytime he wrongs me. The only problem is that he wants to travel back again and this time to another country. He is not really ready to settle down and get married yet and he’s younger me.

I never wanted any long distance relationship because I hate being apart from my boyfriend, let alone my spouse but it always comes to me.

This guy is just the opposite of my fiancé but I don’t know what to do. I love him but I’m scared. Please guys advise me on what to do concerning this.