5 Things Every Mother Must Do for Her Child

Remi Seedy

The good book says that a good child belongs to his father while a bad child is the sorrow of his mother. What?! I was shocked when I found that statement in the bible! Prior to that day, I have often heard older people say so, too but I had always thought it had to do with this seemingly ‘cheap’ way of attaching too many things to the woman. Every woman is expected to keep her home. She is expected to ensure her husband’s sanity. She is expected to support and endure every form of abuse that could be coming her way from her in-law. How could the good book also support ‘woman slavery’?

However, I came to the conclusion that the woman is an epitome of uncommon strength and she must be careful never to undervalue herself. These are some of the ideals every mother must imbibe in order to raise successful children.

1. You must see with your inner eyes: There is a woman called Jochebed. All baby boys in her son’s generation were killed except hers. The good book says, “Jochebed saw that her baby was a goodly child…” So I asked myself, “How do one see something goodly in a baby?” What did Jochebed see in her son that made her protect him from destruction while putting her own life at risk? As a mother, you must ‘see’ that child of yours as goodly, and you must be ready to protect him/her from ruin. You must see beyond the facade surrounding his untoward behaviour; you must envision the goodly traits in him and help him to stand despite and in spite of whatever may be happening around him.

2. You must be friendly: As a mother, you must be able to notice every stage of your child’s life. You can only achieve this if you are friendly with that child. The error many mothers make is making their children their friends. No! You are not your child’s friend. You are his/her mother and you must be able to mother and not murder his/her destiny. To be friendly means you will be accessible, approachable, welcoming, open-minded etc. Your child must be certain that no matter how huge his/her error could be, you will not bring the roof down when you hear about it. Be friendly with your child, do not be her friend.

3. You must be decisive: As a mother, you must be able to nip issues in the bud immediately. Most mothers threaten their children with, “I will tell your father.” If you are one of such mothers, desist today! Attend to issues immediately when the need arises. Do not threaten that child with ‘I will tell your daddy’. What also usually happens in instances like this is that time would have passed between when the issue happened and when daddy comes home to ‘attend’ to it. This could erode the essence of lesson that could have been impacted through prompt action. Let ‘daddy’ put in a word when he arrives; if necessary.

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4. You must be able to appreciate their differences: I found out that every child is unique! As a good mother, you can never love your children equally; you can only love them differently. There is something unique in every child, spot it and celebrate it. For example, if you have a child who loves to clean, do not say to the other, “Can’t you see how tidy Mary is?” Rather, appreciate Mary for being tidy, and celebrate ‘John’ for what he does best, too. You are to celebrate the uniqueness in each child without putting any of them down. Spot the difference and lavishly celebrate it while you lovingly correct for attitudes that should be imbibed. While at this, be certain you are viewing each child with the right ‘mirror’.

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5. You must be a fighter: As a mother who desires to raise greatness, you must be willing to fight for your child on your knees. You must secure the destiny of your child in your custody in the place of prayers. Let the heavens hear you speak about that child ceaselessly. I read of a mother who prayed all her sons out of destruction and ‘handed’ them over to her creator. All the four of her sons are doing well today; their voices matter in their generation. Do you desire a child who will matter in his/her generation and beyond? You need to pray for him/her at all times!