Who is a Pedophile and How to Spot One

Ogbugoh Terundu Joy

A pedophile also known as a child molester is a person who is sexually attracted to children. A pedophile can be a male or female adult. An adult being of the same sex as the child does not make such sexual obscenity impossible.

As parents, we must be vigilant and avoid presumptions of innocence of blood relatives, spiritual leaders or friends as more often than not, pedophiles are those closest to the family and could members of  the same household.

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How Do You Spot A Pedophile? Child molesters are not the easiest to detect, they come off as being very loving and kind individuals thus making it hard for a parent to detect a thing. However, they are red flags that point to such behavior.

• A pedophile usually has very minimal interest in adults. They relate better and prefer to be around children. A pedophile would take side jobs and jump at any activity around children. They are excessively loving with kids and would often treat them as grown ups. They speak and refer to the child the way they would speak to an adult or someone who they were in a romantic relationship with.
• Pedophile takes their time to gain the trust of their target. They would become very close to the family, always offering to help and watch your child in your absence, and often spoil their interest with gifts. Once he or she has gained your child’s, trust then he starts to groom the child – introducing them to sexual games, kissing games and encouraging them to keep secrets, thus paving way for the actual act.
• Pedophiles like to snap children a lot. Whether the child is fully dressed or naked or in a position that they consider erotic, they would take a picture. It’s like keeping a folder of your favorite actor or football team. Child molesters collect a lot of photos of children. A collection that any other person would find unusual or unnecessary.
• A pedophile is likely to have being molested as a kid as well. When they become adults, they look out for children at the age they were when they were abused to replay the abuse.
• A pedophile would always push to have time alone with your child. 

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WHAT TO DO:

• Pay attention to your child. If your child is no longer comfortable being around an adult that you “love and trust” do not wave it aside, seek to know why.
• Be sure your child is getting all the emotional support he or she needs. Whenever you see your child feeling down, ask to know why. Do not let anything go unchecked.
• Be your child’s friend. Be an open book. Let your child know that they can talk to you about anything and anyone. Don’t shut them down or call them liars. Believe them. 
• Teach your child their body parts: Teach them to know the boundaries of what is acceptable or  appropriate and what is unacceptable and inappropriate.
• Do not embarrass your child. Questioning your child in the presence of anyone especially the person whom they are complaining about could make your child withdrawn and unable to share further information with you. Question your child privately.

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You may expect a pedophile to be a stranger, look rough or tattered but pedophiles are mostly the opposite of that description-  they are charming, kind, normal and close to you. Some of them are married and in sacred positions like the leader of a church or could even be your own blood relative.

Anyone can be a pedophile, be vigilant.