Dear MIMsters: I’m Losing it and My Mother is Responsible for my Unhappiness
I’m LOSING IT and my mum is responsible for my unhappiness.
I got married a year ago, but still looking up to God for the fruit of the womb. The problem is the way my mum is handling it makes me feel so depressed that it makes me cry. My mum complains bitterly and this makes me feel as if I’m having a really SERIOUS problem.
She should be the one encouraging me and telling me that God can do it and should keep praying and staying hopeful but the reverse is the case. Instead, I’m the one telling her to keep praying. She is always pushing me to push my husband to go to the hospital even though we have been told at the hospital that there is no problem.
My mum insinuates that I would have had a baby by now if I was married to someone else, forgetting that GOD is in the picture. My mum will call and tell me negative things that can anger me to do the unthinkable towards my husband. She takes anything my husband does to a negative extreme and expects me to act upon it.
And anytime, I try to explain things from my husband’s perspective, she will say that I am defending him. It has reached the point that I no longer bother to explain. I just keep quiet and listen. She doesn’t care how he does it but it is her opinion that my husband should ALWAYS give me whatever I want, always provide for me to the FULLEST, which this man is trying his best possible to do, to be sincere.
He is TRYING, I as his wife know he is.
The issue of my job again is something my mum always lashes my husband for, forgetting how things are in this country, as if my husband is God. My husband is trying his best to secure a job for me and I know he is trying his best to get me a job or support me to get a Masters degree. He doesn’t like me sitting at home.
Since I got married, my mum thinks I am wasting my life and that nothing good has come out of my marriage. It’s just a year. After receiving her call, I end up crying most times. I have never called my mum to complain about my home, not even once. She knows my husband and I live peacefully and there is love in the house.
Would she prefer I call her to say that we fought, quarrelled, we have no proper food, no love, no good treatment? My mum is not seeing anything commendable about that. I know she wants the best for me but the way she is going about it is tiring.
I try as much as I can to keep all that away from my husband. If I’m having an issue or something bothering me, I can’t even call her and talk to her. If I need a shoulder to cry on whenever I am depressed, I can’t call my mum. Thankfully, there is no problem between my husband and I.
I have to stop here because if I pour my heart out, this will be one very long post as I have a lot to type. Kindly advice me with your words of wisdom and kindness.