Top Questions to Ask Yourself if Your Child is not Obeying Your Rules (Part 2)

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Ndidi Adekunle

Previously, we shared 5 questions to help you review your discipline strategies and ultimately, get your child to obey set rules as expected (read here). Find 5 more questions to help you in this regard:

1. Is Your Child Simply Stressed Out?

There are many things which can bring on stress in the life of a child. Stress expresses itself in anger, sadness, frustration, and anxiety. Such a child will definitely frustrate an unsuspecting parent. You have to discover or diagnose what exactly it is that is stressing your child out. Then you can begin to help them and perhaps organise them better to conform with set rules and goals.

2. Have You Changed Routines?

Children love routine. It gives them a sense of security, which in turn helps to boost their confidence. Children love to know what to expect. A change in routine can happen now and then like in divorce cases for instance. However, it would help to work towards restoring as much of the usual routine as possible. This will help your child not feel so lost, but to feel somewhat back in control of his world.

3. Are You Consistent With Your Technique?

You ought to maintain firmness. Let your “yes” be “yes” and your “no”, “no.” If your children start to get the impression that they can “twist your arm” to get their way, you will lose your hold and control over them. They will start to disregard your orders. Consistency therefore, is key to getting the best reward with your chosen techniques. It is when even consistency fails, that you can then fall back on all alternatives.

4. Are You Following The Recommended Guidelines For Your Chosen Technique?

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For instance, you “spank” sometimes but you don’t stop to explain to your child calmly why they are being spanked him. Do you deprive him of a privilege without linking it with his misbehaviour? You’re sure then to get less results from this technique than the parent who does it right. Same with all the other discipline techniques. It pays to revisit your technique constantly to be sure you’re following the guidelines properly, so you evaluate and fix loopholes.

5. How About Professional Help?

The help of teachers, paediatricians, child psychologists, and all such, may be your answer. Your child may have attention deficit problems that ought to be diagnosed by experts. They will then counsel you on child discipline techniques that are suited to their diagnosis. In time, you will be glad you used the appropriate measures as you start to record remarkable successes.

Most of all though, do give parenting your best shot and take the odds to God in prayer, always.