Dear MIMsters: How Can I Bring Myself to Trust My Husband Again After This?

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I’ve been in shock for days now. How can I bring myself to trust my husband again after this?

I dated my hubby for almost 10 years and it was a smooth, happy relationship. We’ve been married for 5 years now, making it 15 years altogether. God has really been faithful to us – we’re blessed with 3 boys, good health and wealth, what more can we ask for?

Just finding it hard to believe and accept the fact that all men must cheat. Please MIMsters, why do men really cheat? Is it all about trend, swag or what?

However, recently, he started to change. He would say, “Your food tastes bad,” and so on. He would flare up at the slightest provocation and criticized me over silly things. It felt really strange until I discovered why.

A strange number always called him but since he didn’t save the number, I overlooked it until he started accusing me of taking his calls and calling numbers on his phone. He became so protective of it and hardly stayed at home. So one night, I had no option than to go through his phone. I copied out that particular number, checked it via whatsapp and was dumbfounded to discover it was a lady.

Still, I kept my cool – didn’t call, text or chat her up. I just registered the last 4 digits off her number and confronted my hubby. In typical male fashion, he turned it all against me, saying that I’m jealous, she’s his business partner, and so on.

He later begged for forgiveness for being harsh and I forgave him but didn’t forget. I stopped trusting him and pretty much thought he would end it there but the whole calling and texting between them became so serious I had to tell him to be careful. It turned into a heated argument and I backed off. That same day, he still called her 5 times.

Then I told him since he has made up his mind about their relationship or partnership as he claimed, I would leave because she’s his tribe and I don’t want to have high blood pressure over anything because I’m still young. I added that since it seems he prefers to choose her over me, it’s better I just walked away.

He got upset and called his family telling them I wanted a divorce. Hell broke loose and that same night he started to apologize, saying they haven’t started dating. He said he saw the girl in a church that he was invited to and she came with her dying mum and he helped out but her mum later passed away, so, he usually calls her daily to console her. I thought to myself, “10 calls per day and the least is 1 minute? He doesn’t even call me 4 times daily o.” He then called the girl, put the phone on speaker and told her never to call him again and he wouldn’t call her again too.

The thing now is that I don’t trust him again. In fact, I feel a little hatred for him. I feel betrayed that all this time we have been married, it’s been from one baby to another and I haven’t had time for myself just to please him. I do everything to please him. What does my happily married husband want in a skelewu street girl? I am tall, very good looking, dresses well and very calm. What is his problem?

I have promised him that if he continues, I will end the marriage but they say a wise woman builds her home and I have always bragged about how he is so different from the pack.

I need words of advice from anyone that has gone through this before. Please what do I do? So sorry for my long story but I feel relieved now.