RE: Dear MIMsters: Are My Reasons Valid For Wanting to Distance My Kids From their Grandmother?

So I read the story of the woman who wants to keep her children away from her mother-in-law and the judgmental view of the commenters here.

Do you think that that woman is selfish? I mean, how can you think a woman would allow her husband’s thoughtlessness deprive her daughters of their sanity?

I could not publicly put my own comment on the story because I know people, and people know me; and most of them are here.

However, I will briefly tell my own story and see what MIM commenters have to say about it.

Actually, I and the woman who shared that other story are in the same rut though I do not know who she is.

Our stories are very similar so I would not want to bore you with mine again except to state a few differences in our stories.

While she has 3 daughters, I have 3 sons. While her husband has given her an ultimatum, mine did not even discuss it with me before moving my sons over to his parents’ for the long holidays.

She says her own MIL was nice, mine is the twin-sister of the devil himself. She is so wicked, and uncouth. Though her own MIL is a traditionalist, mine is a deaconess in one of the largest Pentecostal churches we have around.

Let me now top that woman’s story!

My FIL and MIL are in their late 60s- as a matter of fact, they are age-mates; they only have a difference of 3 months between them.

Now, this is it! They do not just argue, they fight- physical combat. MIL destroys stuffs in the house and FIL brings in a strange woman whenever they are having issues plus, they both can comfortably keep malice for weeks non-stop.

My sons see all of these and I am not comfortable about that so I brushed the subject with my husband. Can you believe what he said to me?

“Toke, we have been married for 15 years now. Have I ever raised my hands on you? Have I ever kept malice with you? Have I ever treated you like my dad treats my mom?”

Truth be told, my husband is everything perfect as a husband and as a father.

So I answered him, “No, darling.”

“Good. A fruit does not fall far from its tree. My sons will never take after my father.”

That ended our discussion and every time I try to bring it up again, he resists it. My sons also love to spend time with their grandparents. When I asked them if they witness their grandparents fight, they said ‘Yes” and when I asked how they feel about it, they said it really does not bother them.

My sister, me I understand you very well o. In my own case, I have decided to keep praying for my sons, and at every opportunity I have, to disabuse their minds of their grandparent’s lifestyle.

I used to be pained about it but now, I have learnt to overlook the issue and intercede for my sons instead.

I just pray that our husbands’ ego will not override their essences.

Thank you, MIM. You guys are the bestest!