Dear MIMsters: How Do I Get This Man To Finally Respect Me
How do I get this ex-boyfriend to finally respect me?
In 2015, I met a guy on Facebook through a mutual friend. Every morning, he would inbox me, greeting me. Couple of days later I decided to give him a chance.
We lived in different states in Australia. I discovered that he came to Australia with an international student visa for 1 year and still struggling to find his feet. He lived with his older cousin and his wife. He complained to me about having problems with his cousin’s wife because he couldn’t contribute to their living expenses. He needed a car in order to get a job and he didn’t have the money to buy the car. I grew up here, I’m working and have my own car. I know how hard life can be when new to a place, so I decided to help him buy the car. Our mutual friend even told me not to help him. But I said to her, I have a car, a job and a boyfriend who is struggling, I have to help him, so I did.
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It didn’t end there, I became his ATM just to help him sort his bills. We decided to live to together and get to know each other better. Due to his visa restrictions, we planned that I move to his state and will both rent an apartment. I left my apartment, my job and moved in with my parents for a couple of days. The plan was he would come to my state and we will both drive my car back to his state, a 8-9 hours drive. But told me that he is no more interested in the plan. Said he was at work and would call me later, but he never did until a week later. I was angry and hurt, but he never said sorry.
Two years into the relationship, he got worse. He stopped talking to me like he used to, would avoid and won’t return or messages.
End of 2016, he called me and was very moody. Told me his mother is very sick in Nigeria and doctors needed to amputate her leg. He wanted to go to Nigeria so he can take his mother to a good hospital but did not have the means. He begged me for money and I gave him $1,000. This guy left Australia to Nigeria without telling me. I tried to check on him and his phone was off.
Three weeks later, he sent me a message me on Facebook saying that Nigeria is very expensive and had ran out of money. I ignored his message for a couple days then I confronted him about leaving for Nigeria without telling me. He told me to stop nagging and complaining about everything. He didn’t tell me when he returned to Australia.
The relationship was awkward. He ignored all my messages and I sent a final message that it was all over and I’m moving on with my life. He did not respond to me. I changed my number and blocked him on Facebook.
A year later, I met my husband and we gave birth to a daughter. Then few months ago, I unblocked my ex-boyfriend on Facebook and received a message from him introducing himself. I reminded myself that we are casual friends. We started talking and he asked me to catch up with him somewhere in my state. He was coming for a wedding and wanted to see me. I declined.
I finally asked him about his mother’s health and heaven came down. He asked how I could I have a daughter so fast, who is the father? Is it my boyfriend that I have the baby for or was it just a one night stand? I told him I was not his business. He said that mutual friend of ours told him bullshit stories about me. He said I should go and sleep and think about all the questions he’s asked me.
I just want this guy to stop disrespecting me. I want him to show me some respect as I show him respect but he just does not get it at all. All he keep says is you need to grow up.
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How do I get him to know that I am over him and everything he did to me I have forgiven him and I moved on with my life?