Dear MIMSters: Help!!! My Marriage Thrives Only On Social Media

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Thank you, MIM for this platform where wisdom is learnt every now and then. My marriage thrives only on social media but I wish it could be different.

I have discussed this issue with my hubby, I have cried, I have begged and I have tried every reasonable thing I know how to do, including playing the whore for him but he remains the way he’s been for over a year now.

My story makes the saying, “Not all that glitter is gold” very true. Friends and relatives envy me, with most of them praying to have what I have and I just look at them, smile and say within me, “Be careful what you wish for.”

My husband and I were colleagues in the bank. When our relationship was getting more defined, we agreed either of us would need to resign and pick a job from another bank. We thought I should stay back because I earned more and we started pressing buttons to get hubby (then boyfriend) into another bank. Before we could solidify our arrangements, he was laid off.

It was devastating and I was already asking that we probably slow down on our wedding plans but he wouldn’t listen. He said we could temporarily survive on what I was earning and because of the love we shared, I did not tell my family about his situation though his own family knew, we got married and all was going well with us. We were managing on my salary and there was no problem.

A few months into our marriage, I ran into my secondary school ‘father’ who had become a big player in the oil & gas field. We exchanged telephone numbers and promised to keep in touch. I told hubby about my chanced meeting with Uncle Boye and he said I should talk to him about his joblessness. I was reluctant at first but he wouldn’t let me be. Eventually, I told Uncle Boye about hubby’s predicament and voila! he fixed him up!

Initially, Uncle Boye asked if he wanted to get back into the banking sector or would like to move into oil and gas. Hubby chose oil and gas, and even though Uncle Boye offered me a job with better pay in his sector, too; I declined because of hubby.

Uncle Boye told hubby he was helping him because of his ‘school daughter.’ He told hubby the many nice things I did for him when we were in school. While he was in SSS 3, I was in JSS 1 and I would always ensure my parents brought goodies for him when they visited my siblings and I in school in those days because his parents weren’t so well to do. He also told hubby that as long as he treated me well, his job was secured. I did not like what he said to hubby because it sounded like a threat to me but he told me that as guys, they understood each other. And because hubby did not take any offense, too, I maintained my peace.

And things turned around so fast for us after hubby got into oil & gas.

To be continued…