Dear MIMsters: My Syrian Boyfriend Is Really Angry With Me

I’m the woman who wrote about dating a Syrian guy sometimes ago. A lot of people blamed me for leading him on and some even said that I was lying about not knowing what his intentions were.

How could I know when throughout the years we dated, he never said anything about marriage. He met me with a guy once at my hostel ( not my boyfriend though) and when I tried to explain to him who the guy was, he told me that it doesn’t matter that we are not entitled to marry each other simply because we are dating.

What other reason do I have to lie when no one is going to touch a hair on my head? After the advice that I got from some members here, I went to his house and told him that I don’t think I can marry him because my parents won’t let me marry a Muslim. He said that if I truly want to be with him, I should get pregnant for him so my parents won’t have any other option but to accept it.

I told him that my parents aren’t the only reason, that I’m also not sure I want to marry a Muslim and go live in Syria. His reply was if we get married, I would still be allowed to go to church if I want to and about traveling to Syria, he won’t be going there any time soon and doesn’t think he would love to raise his children there.

I couldn’t tell him how I felt so I told him that I don’t think I want to get married yet, and he asked me to tell him the truth, that is it that I’m not ready to get married or is it him that I do not want to marry? I couldn’t give him an answer, so he asked me to leave his house. I tried calling him the next day but he didn’t pick my call, so I called his friend who is also his colleague. (This friend was out of the country the day he proposed) and told him everything.

His friend was so surprised and said when we started dating, he asked my boyfriend if it was just for fun or if it was something serious and he said it’s all for fun, and that he didn’t even tell him that he asked me to marry him. I told him to talk to him for me and make him understand that I do not wish to hurt him. His friend told me that he hasn’t been to work for some days and suggested that we go look for him together. When we got to his house they both started talking in their native language and after sometime, started yelling at each other.

His friend then suggested that we should go. When I asked him what was the matter on our way back, he said that his friend is really mad at me and said that I fooled him and some many other things that he can’t tell me. He suggested that I should leave town or the country because his friend is really angry. I’ll be leaving for Ghana next week. Thank you all for your time.