Dear MIMsters: Was I Wrong To End This Relationship?
Was I wrong to end this relationship?
February last year when I was just 19, I was in a relationship. Due to our religious beliefs, it was a no sex until marriage relationship. It wasn’t an easy relationship for me.
At first, everything was great till we started having misunderstandings. He’s quick to anger while I’m the kind of girl who totally goes silent whenever I’m hurt or angry, so he usually takes the initiative to make peace.
With time, I learnt to apologize first especially when I’m in the wrong. I also prefer talking out our differences, compromising and settling them.
Along the line, I came to notice that he blames me for almost all the issues we’ve had. It’s always my fault. I never do anything right. Comparing me with others. This really made me cry. At a time, I was fed up and decided to call it quits. He pleaded, I forgave, we continued.
With time, he developed this new attitude such that whenever we have fights, he’d stay angry for days and when he’s done being angry, he will then seek me out.
There’s nothing I would do to get him to talk to me. It made me feel like a toy. Like he uses and discards me whenever he likes.
Ten months into the relationship, I discovered I no longer had feelings for him. I talked to him about it. We agreed to do certain things to revive the love I once had for him, this includes texting early in the morning, during the day and before bed plus other things. None worked.
When we are together, it’d seem as if I can’t do without him but the moment he walks away, the feelings disappear. I don’t even miss him. I can’t explain it but I couldn’t love him as before. Believe me, I really tried. I guess I was just infatuated with him, was naive, immature. Or whatever I desired in a man changed and he had none. Maybe I just grew up. (I turned twenty while we were dating.)
Rather than force things to work out and then be in a loveless, unhappy marriage forever, I finally broke up with him, June this year.
It wasn’t an easy break up either. At times, I’d sit myself down and ask questions. Is it that I didn’t give it enough time? He pleaded and pleaded but I didn’t alter my decision. I’m happier this way.
We decided to be friends, at least till he leaves our area. But now, he’s been giving me attitude, refusing to speak to me and making it look like it’s my fault. This was just the day after we agreed to be at peace till he leaves. Now, I’m twenty one, while he is twenty five.
Please, was I wrong to end this relationship? What could be his problem?