Dear MIMsters: My Husband Is Now A Completely Different Man

I am shattered and weeping because my husband is now a completely different man.

Right from the start of our marriage, I discovered that he flirts a lot with women. It started when our marriage was just 2 months old. Since then, we have been having issues here and there about one girl or the other.

There was a time when he wanted to even date two women at the same time and we fought silly that family members had to address the issue. He still didn’t change after that.

He was out of a job for 2 years and in these 2 years, even in his state of brokenness, he was still hooking up with different girls. I thought he was different but he lies a lot like ‘tomorrow no dey’. He lies a lot to the extent that I don’t even believe a tenth of what he says. Meanwhile, most of the people who know him think he’s the most perfect man because he paints a picture of being a good family man.

His friends even invite him over to settle their domestic issues but then what he preaches outside is not who he is.

Why I’m in dire need of advice now is for this reason. There is this girl he’s been dating for a while now. I didn’t even know at first as I don’t check his phone but one way or the other, I found out. Then, I gently asked him and he cooked up one story. I had to let it slide by to avoid trouble. This girl calls him every moment. You know everyone was at home during the lockdown. So, noticing this kind of stuff wasn’t at all difficult.

I have a job where I earn 35k and I sew beautiful clothes too but due to the current pandemic palaver, I have been at home doing nothing at the moment. We had a fight for like 5 days after which he came begging me and told me that he had deleted her number and blocked her. Only for me to discover that he was still dating her. I asked him again quietly and he cooked up another story again.

Since then, he has been keeping malice with me and goes ahead to call this girl when I’m at home knowing that I would hear. They chat till midnight most of the time. In all of these, I haven’t uttered a word to him.

On several occasions, he has deprived my kids and me just so he could date other girls. One of those girls even reached out to me telling me that my husband is scum for denying the kids and I. He said he doesn’t have money but he could transfer almost 150k to his brother who calls him anytime he needs money.

Mimsters, I have two kids but I’m still beautiful. This was the same man that almost killed a guy who was asking me out last year. He behaves irrationally and expects me to be quiet. He keeps late nights and comes home anytime he likes. He is not always at home with the kids and me, such that I’m always bored in the marriage. How do I cope?

I need you all to give me tips on how to ignore him. I want to sideline him. He keeps hurting me intentionally. I’m broken and often find myself crying. Our wedding anniversary will be 5 years this month and I’m not looking forward to it.