Nigerian musician, singer, and actor, Ayoola Ayoola has recalled his battle with depression and his harrowing experience of attempting suicide.
In a candid interview with media personality, Chude Jideonwo, the actor, famous for his roles in productions like ‘The Men’s Club’, revealed that he spiraled into depression when he learned he was expecting a child he felt unprepared for.
The 37-year-old talented movie star recounted the dark period in his life, admitting that the news of impending fatherhood left him overwhelmed and contemplating ending his life.
Recalling the pivotal moment, Ayoola shared,
“The time the pregnancy for my son came, I wasn’t prepared to be a father. I got depressed and almost took my life. I deliberately miscalculated while crossing the road so that I would be hit and the car just brushed me.”
However, reflecting on his journey since then, Ayoola expressed deep regret for his actions, emphasizing the profound impact of his son on his perspective.
He admitted that witnessing his son’s presence in his life now fills him with gratitude, realizing the gravity of the life he almost forfeited.
He remarked,
“I look at my son now and I’m like, ‘This is what I was about to miss? This is whose life I was about to destroy?’ This little boy would have been fatherless.”
“I felt to myself, what if I just end it right now? You know, nobody is going to miss me. I was actually in the middle of the road, and when you’re calculating when to cross, I deliberately miscalculated so that I would be hit.
Maybe this is a good idea, but then I think the fear of ‘if you do it, you go to hell, is it true?’ I don’t want to go to hell.
Maybe it’s a bad idea, and then something happened that maybe picked up the pace or slowed down a little more, and the car just brushed me. I still fell off the road, and some people came to help me up, not knowing I tried to, you know.
And I think in my case, the resolve to never try it again was the fear of it happening, so after that, my orientation about suicide and depression changed because I used to say, ‘Why would you want to do that? Are you crazy?’ After that time, I started to understand how that thing is more medical and more spiritual than we think. It takes over you, you don’t know.
It’s not the decision you’re rightfully making at that time. Anyway, all of that happened, and I look back now. I look at the very handsome young man, and I’m like, really? This is what I was about to miss. This is who’s life I was about to destroy by my actions.
By the action I was about to take, that I was going to take blindly, this little boy would have been made fatherless.”
Ayoola’s candid revelation sheds light on the silent struggles many individuals face with mental health issues, underscoring the importance of seeking help and support during times of distress.
Ayoola: I felt to myself, what if I just end it right now? You know, nobody is going to miss me. I was actually in the middle of the road, and when you’re calculating when to cross, I deliberately miscalculated so that I would be hit. Maybe this is a good idea, but then I think… pic.twitter.com/Cr6OfQtL5n
