‘If I Was A Woman, I’d Be Very Depressed About It’ -Married Man Writes As He Questions Why Women Are Expected To Be Subservient Despite Being Capable
A Nigerian man, Edwin Ajogun has said that he would be depressed if he were a woman who is expected to be servitude despite being more capable, simply because of gender.
Edwin shared the thread after a woman on X, Uzo Njoku lamented that she built her career by not listening to people telling her what to do and now she does not know how to “let a man lead.”
In her words:
“I literally built my career brick by brick. Mainly by not listening to people tell me what to do and doing what I feel is best.
And 97% of the time, I’ve always been right 6 years later, it’s translated to it being hard to “let a man lead”. How do I work on active listening?
It’s so hard not to correct or be a project manager. I actually need to learn cause I’ve seen women turn off their brains when out with their spouse and I want to experience that.”
Edwin replied, asking why she needs a man to lead her when she’s educated and capable. The man then shared that the best thing he did for his life was to accept that his wife was right most of the time and defer to her.
He then added that if he were a woman, he would be depressed due to the expectation that women should live a life of servitude to men because of their gender.
He also added that he will never understand the women who want to be led.
See his tweets below.
“The best thing I did for my life was accept the fact that 75% of the time, my wife was right when it comes to money and planning. If you are good at what you do, take responsibility else, you will be resentful of yourself and him in the years to come.
Personally, I feel like a lot of households would be better off if the men set their ego aside and let their women plan their households.
And I still will never understand women’s desire to be led. What is the point of going to school and learning skills if you don’t want to apply them in your immediate environment? I don’t understand.
I mean, if I was a woman I would be very depressed about it. I can’t imagine living my young life to prepare myself for a lifetime of servitude to another person just because I was born into a gender i didn’t choose.
I will never forget that lady I met at Arepo. She was an assistant GM at a bank and told me how she, under pressure from her mom, moved from GRA to Arepo and passed up promotions so she could be more attractive to men.
According to her mum, “Men don’t find successful women attractive because they think you are not submissive” I could feel the resentment in her voice mixed with a sad resignation to her fate.
Hundreds of millions of human beings living life without agency just because they belong to a gender. Some are not even allowed to show their faces in public, some cannot drive, some can’t go to school, and some can’t even travel or own property until someone gives permission.
But what do I know? Everyone’s opinion on this matter is personal without looking at what the structure of the world as it is doing to millions of people. It is much deeper than who gets to cook or clean in your house.
Normally, I don’t have a dog in this fight. I am a man. In a way, I am lucky. I have my own battles to fight but to a large extent, my life is mine and every responsibility I have was a conscious choice. But my daughter, what life will she live when she is an adult?
Will I invest this much energy into teaching, nurturing and growing her only for society to tell her that all she has done is nothing if she isn’t married to someone’s son whose parents probably didn’t invest this much into her life?
Or will she, after spending her youth acquiring knowledge and skills feel insecure about deploying it for the benefit of herself and her family because she wants her husband to feel less insecure?
What did she do to deserve that fate? Why must she be subservient just because she is a girl? Who wrote the rules? Anyway. End of rant.”
