Dear MIMsters: My Daughter And Her Father’s DNA Do Not Match
My daughter and her father’s DNA do not match.
I’ve been with my partner for the past 12 years and we are blessed with two girls aged, 10 and 4 years old. We plan to get married by God’s grace this year and probably relocate abroad.
I met him when I was 17 but before then, I was in a very terrible relationship with a guy through which I was seeking love and acceptance as I never grew up or lived with my mom. This guy would beat me and after beating me, I would still run back to him because I was scared of being alone. Somewhere along the line, I met the father of my kids who showed me love and took care of me.
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During this period, my ex would manipulate me and force me over to his house, then force himself on me and would still beat me. When I opened up to my new man, he protected me. My partner and I have been through thick and thin together and it’s been nothing but bliss. His properties are in my name even though we’ve only done our official family introduction.
A few weeks ago, we were told at my children’s school to find out and submit their genotypes and blood groups for filing in the case of an emergency at school. This was how I got to know that my first daughter’s genotype is entirely different from mine and her dad’s. And since I know that her dad will soon start filing for travel documents for us, I have been restless because the DNA results will state the obvious.
I’m a good woman to the core, while he’s a man that trusts me with his life. I’ve been trying to figure out what to do but I can’t think straight. I’ve been thinking of either running away, committing suicide or calling the relationship quits.
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Many thoughts have been running through my mind about what he would do if and when he finds out. How will he react? What will be my gain after all the sacrifice I’ve done in this union?
What would you advice me to do? Should I tell him first or allow him find out himself?
This girl is his life that I sometimes envy the bond they share. He doesn’t joke with her, even with one strand of her hair. I don’t know how to go about this.
Show him the very letter you wrote here. A a man, I hope he will take into account the circumstances you have described here – there is a full possibility that the previous man was the father of the child since you had intimate relations with both of them at around the same time.
Let him know, since you found out first. He will trust you more in the long term if he sees you are being open and honest with him despite the difficulty you are facing. It seems you are letting your past control you a bit still, which is understandable.