Dear MIM: Who Should I Choose? My Hubby or Daughter?
I want candid and honest suggestions.
I am a 37 year old lady, married now for 4 years without an issue for my husband. I had a child 16-years-ago for a man who is now dead. My husband also has a daughter who lives with us.
My mum called my husband and told him my daughter was a witch and said a lot of stuff that really scared my husband and told him not to tell me. She called him to say such things. I noticed my husband’s behavior changed drastically during that period. He got offended easily and would sometimes reject my food and no longer asked about my daughter.
After some months, he could not hide it any more and told me what my mother told him – that my daughter was a witch, and that he should not get close to her. All this while, my daughter had been living with her grandmother in Lagos i.e. her father’s mother. After hearing this from my husband, I cried and wailed that my mother could do this to me.
I then called my sister and cried to her explaining everything to her. She called my mum and asked her and my mum denied saying those things, thereby calling my husband a liar. I was dumbfounded and confused. Meanwhile, my home was boiling. The truth later came out and my mum admitted saying those things to my husband. The issue at stake now is I want my daughter around me, but my husband said if I bring her to our home he is going to divorce me. My daughter is at the stage where she needs guidance and my presence in her life, my heart beats for her but I am so confused and afraid. I don’t know what to do. – A very worried mum.
She’s the only child you have. Don’t let her hate you in future because of a man who can leave you at anytime or even treat you bad. Your child is your child no matter what. If he doesn’t want your child with you, then let him divorce you. There are better men out there who would not act on hearsay like he did. I mean how can he start acting funny towards you just because your mom called your daughter a witch? Abeg choose your daughter oh. I repeat choose your daughter gbam. As for your mom she’s a terrible being am sorry to say and it would do you good to thread carefully around her because she doesn’t wish you well. Stand your ground to either bring your daughter or leave that excuse of a man.
My dear i agree with u, she better choose her child, becos at the end of everything thing that man will till live her to marry another person, since he has started with this excuse, and when she is old, it will be her daughter that will take care of her.
Nawa ooo
Hmmmmm
Follow ur heart
No comment
If she is comfortable with her grandmother do live her there
In critical situations, do remember that spouses are replaceable, all it takes it fall in love with someone else and your ex (either hubby or wife) becomes history, but kids aren’t, at least not just like that. So the choice is yours to make.
The man is simply being selfish. His daughter is living with him and he is threatening you with divorce simply because of an information he got. Even if he is scared, is he not supposed to support you to take the girl for deliverance. He is threatening you with divorce now, be ready for more divorce threats over other issues because he knows that will put you in check. At the end of the day, the decision is yours to make but if I were in your shoes I would insist on my daughter living with me or he sends his to live with a relation as well. You owe that girl a lot and if anything happens to her, you’ll have yourself to blame. That man can walk away tomorrow but your child will always be there
Eka has said it all. It is either your daughter comes to live with you or he sends his to stay with a relative also. Children are not replaceable your only child at that…..
Ur child haba u carried her for 9months,labour thru pains u can’t describe,she is grown nw,ur hubby is nw gvin option abi nah threat hummmmmmmm na wa 4 oooo cos d CHOICE is in front f u
U don’t ve any child wiv him,he can still divorce u when he decides he wants more kids,ur dauta ll neva 4give u if u choose dis selfish man over her,if it was his dauta dat was called a witch,wud he throw er away 4 dat reason?choose wisely mamm,ur child needs u more than he does,he can replace u at anytime.
Why did you leave her all through these years with her grandmother until she clock age18 before you thought of bringing her home, if she is comfortable there please leave her, the ultimate now is for you to sponsor her in school, b4 she graduate for the university, before then things would have change for the better
Pls I choose my daughter o. I can’t thread her for anything pls… A female for that matter
Pls choose Ur daughter
A girl child for that matter, pleas don’t throw away the only asset you have.
go fr ur daughter
I would choose my daughter over and over and over again over any man even her own father.
U left her in d hands of those village hoodlums n now asking us if u should reconsider after all these years. A man dt can leave u tomorrow, y are women like ds. Pls do d needful, Mon Gemini said it all.
My dear, if this man truly loves you and he thinks or rather believe that your daughter is a witch, he should support you and stand by you to take the child to the church for deliverance because if the child is his child he will not send her away. So think about it, you must have to play your role as a mother in the life of your daughter now that she needs it and let no body deprive you of dat.
For mentioning the word divorce alone means he has divorced you. Chose your daughter. He doesn’t love you after all.Be careful
To me, your concern now should not be your husband and his wahala. Your concern should be the wellbeing of your daughter. Pls take her for deliverance immediately, if the allegation is wrong, your heart will be at rest. If it’s true she’ll be delivered and ok. Then you can sort out your husband. If the accusation had been about his daughter, would he have thrown her away? But be careful with your mum, she doesn’t wish you well.
Ur mom is a terrible person sorry to say
Pls go after ur daughter. For ur hubby to say that he choose devioce over ur daughter shows u he doesn’t care about you at all. U don’t ve any child for him that will warrant u to stay with him instead. Pls go after ur daughter & do the needful for her. This is my sincere suggestion for you.
As far as he has come up with such a threat of divorce, one day he will do it, so is better u take and choose your daughter, be hard working so that u can take care of her, becos she needs u now or u will be the one to cry at last ( remember she is 16 years ( adolescences age) very important)
pls choose ur child..thank GOD u got no kid for d man.if he truly lov u..he shud lov ervrtytin around u…if he cnt den let him go for divorces …pls dnt let her hate u for live. u might blame ursef later if u ignore ur daughter…..am a living example….wen i was abt 10yrs,my family had an accomodation prob…so i had to stay wit my aunt so dat i can finish my primary education bcos her house was closer to my scul…at first she was nice to me bt later she started maltreatin me so dat make me to prove sturborn most times…my parents attend C.A.C bt she attends white garment church so i dnt follow her to her church.and she lock me outside wenevrr she s goin. to church..so one day..she came back to cal me a witch ..i cried and was vrry bitter and hated hr more…wen i wenever i go to my parents place i explained everytin she did to me especually d nickname i was given(witch) bt dey couldnt brliev it…dey ll ask me to go back to stay dere…wen i couldnt cope again i left dere and told my parents am nt goin to scul again so i stoped sculin den…bt wat pained me was d fact dat wen i got to my parents place my biological father gangan was avoidin me and also agreed dat i was a witch…although i was very stubborn and wstever i say wen am annoyed alwas com to pass…bt my MUM stood by me den..she was alwaas dere for me …we. sleep outside most time bcos my of my dad..he jst dnt want to see me.my MUM as been dere all d way….nw by d grace of GOD.. am a medical practitional and i take care of my MUM more… nw i dnt want to see my dad jst for a seconds…and hes rrgretting his actions nw..he hated him even more dan my aunt…wen he was vrry sick i couldnt attend to him ..i had to tel my colleague to attend to him..bcos of d rate at which i hated him……pls poster…..take care of ur daughter…she is al u hav gotten…d man can still leave u giving u one yeye excuses……..pls am so sorry for d long post.
Please don’t leave your child. A woman’s greatest asset is her children. A woman’s child is her future
chose your daughter a thousand times over. men are not worth it o
My dear be careful. All I can see is something that can be solved with words. Honestly those saying leave your husband are not in your shoes. My dear if it was your husband’s daughter who someone you trust told you she was a witch you would have reacted the same way. Nobody wants to be close to a destroyer. My advice is to get counselling and people your husband would respect and let them come into this matter. You can even let a genuine man of God convince your husband the child is not a witch. All your husband needs is assurance he is not getting a witch into the house. Have a heart to heart talk with your husband. You don’t have to choose. Just pray for wisdom. This could be a ploy of the devil to destroy your home. Believe me if you were in your husband’s shoes you will object to the child coming to the house. The only thing is that divorce was too far.
My dear just stand on your feet and fight for your child she is the only one you have please a spouse that doesn’t love your child is not worth it let him divorce you just keep praying for a better partner than neglect your child all because of a partner that doesn’t deserve your attention
Go for ur daughter pls.
I believed you’ve chosed your daughter by now? Spouses are replaceable faaahhh, you can never replace your born child.