Keeping the Love Alive In Your Marriage
VALENTINE’S Day will be here soon. Couples will pledge their love for one another with cards, flowers and romantic dinners. It’s always great when couples reaffirm their love for one another.
If you think this is only true for new couples, think again. Couples who have been together for a while, are no exception. In fact, the longer they’ve been together, the more they should spend time together. This is because complacency may seep in. They may stop showing love. Their busy schedule may rob them of that valuable time to invest in the relationship.
Falling in love is the easy and fun part. The real test is to stay in love year after year. High divorce statistics indicate that many couples are not doing this. Yet, keeping the love alive isn’t as hard as many people think. But it does require a bit of effort, responsibilities, unselfish attitude and acceptance.
POSITIVE PARTNER
To be a happy partner, one must be a happy person first. Do you know grumpy people? They could be people at work, your friends or a member of your family. Can you recall seeing them happy? I doubt it. It’s not easy for a grumpy person to be happy. He sees problems in everything.
No one likes to be around such a person. Don’t let ourselves turn into one. Work on our attitude to see the world in a positive light. Spread the joy by killing negativity and replacing it with a good mood and huge smiles.
Do this for the sake of your family. The more you spread positivity and happiness, the more they come back to you. This is a much better strategy than trying to get your spouse and family to behave in certain ways. “Change” them through your positive attitude. When they see you walking happily towards a destination, they’ll likely want to follow.
GIVE BEFORE YOU RECEIVE
You may be surprised to find that many people love others for selfish reasons. How can this happen? They love someone expecting that person to make them happy. When one partner is not “delivering” as expected, problems start. The other partner complains endlessly about everything. A small issue becomes big in no time because the root cause is never fixed. Fights and misunderstanding become more frequent as the other party is not receiving the happiness that he or she is craving for.
This is not the right reason to love. The purest form of love is to make your partner happy. When he or she is happy, you will be happy. This purest form can be found in our love for our children. We love them without too many expectations and conditions. We even sacrifice our time, energy, interest — and in some cases, life — just for them. We just want them to be the best they can be. That is our motivation.
Loving our spouse should take this pure form too. Stop expecting your spouse to make us happy. We are responsible for our own happiness. We must give love before we can expect to receive it back.
BE GRATEFUL
There’s a saying: “A grumpy person has no time to be grateful. A grateful person has no time to be grumpy.”
There is indeed another way to keep the love alive. It’s about accepting our partner the way she or he is. Be grateful for who they are. Believe that they are already the best for us. Trust your instinct when you made that choice to be with him or her.
Better still, re-ignite that instinct. Rediscover what made both of you fall madly in love with one another. Work harder to maintain that feeling. There are plenty of ways to re-ignite that spark. Go on a child-free vacation together. Have regular dates with your spouse. Surprise your partner with nice gifts. The list is endless.
HAPPILY EVER AFTER
At the end of the day, don’t forget that happiness is really in our own hands. Stop the blame game as it never benefits anyone. Instead, channel those energies positively. Become a better person before you can become a better lover. Love your partner in its purest form. Understand that it’s not about receiving but giving.
When you can do all that, you’ll be redefining the meaning of “life partner”. Gone are the doubts and negativity. In their place, comes a life of happily-ever-after.