Dear MIMsters: Should I Stick With My Husband And Ignore His Mother?
Should I stick with my husband and ignore his mother?
I am 32. I got married this year to the father of my child after being in a relationship for 17 years. He is 38 now and we have a seven year old son.
My son is the only grandchild who bears the family name for now. My problem is that my mother-in-law won’t stop making life miserable for us.
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She did not attend our wedding but one week after, she brought a Muslim woman for my husband to marry saying it is their custom for a man’s parent to select his first wife for him. She demanded that I wait for 6 months before coming in to live in my matrimonial home but my husband bluntly refused.
My husband has always been a Christian even before I met him, even though he is from a muslim family. All the while, I was left in the dark until after our wedding when my husband summoned the courage to tell me that his mother doesn’t want us to be together.
That explained why one day my husband told me to go and beg his parents for forgiveness even though I did not offend them which his mother confirmed.
He told me his mother wants our child but wants nothing to do with me. She blames me for everything my husband does. My husband is so frustrated that he is now an alcoholic. He is always sad and says that his mother wants to mess up his life, yet, he doesn’t want me to tell my parents what is going on.
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The woman his mum brought left a month after living with us and hasn’t returned since the past 2 months.
I have cried, I have prayed and lost all my feelings for this man. What do I do because he still loves me and hasn’t changed a bit? I don’t want a marriage controlled by a MIL. I can’t have my MIL run my family for me. Now, she wants us to live in same state she lives in.
Pls tell your hubby to stand up for himself or his mum will eventually ruin him completely
It’s in your husband’s hands to stand his ground and stop letting his mum run his life. I feel your pain ma’am and it’s a pity u are going through all this. No one should be meant to suffer like this no matter what. Put that Mother in law of yours in prayer and watch God do his thing. All the best.
Ur hubby has stand on his feet and be the man he is by not letting his mother control his life
Its a pity dat u married frm a muslim background when u knw u are nt one of them….! I dnt see hw darkness and light can be together. Anyways keep praying, I pray tins change for better. Gudluck.
shes not a good MIL
Your hubby needs to put his foot down to stop all these nonsense if he wants to keep his family together. Now I see why most mother in laws don’t get the love and respect they looking for. It takes the grace of God to intervene.
MIL wahala,,its time for your hubby to stand hs ground and act like a man.
Be patient pray and stick to your man so that you can become a formidable force
O sista,this ur case is a dicey one oo.
All I cn say is pray,pray,pray to God to cum to ur aid.
GOD will answer your prayers
Ur husbnd needs to wake up,dis is modern age
My Dear, Your best way to deal this issue is to pray and worry less. You have a husband who is 150% weak. Your husband caused your present predicament. He knew very well that he could not manage his mum, yet he proceeded in marrying you. He is a pretender. If your husband loves you, he would confront his mum for both of you to have peace. My mother in law once reported me to my husband at the begining of our marriage that, I did not greet her on one of her visits. My husband asked her what would have happened if he, who is her son did not greet her. My husband did not only stop there, he also reported her to her siblings. My marriage is 7 years old and she has never come up with any complains after the first one she attempted. Confront your husband to take a bold step. How long does he want to continue to manage her.
Message..whenever we want to comment on issues I don’t think we should bring religious, or tribal sentiment to the matter even it related to them.Islam is not darkness plssss.to the issue at hand ur husband caused it he should have made is stand clear to his parent that he has convert to Christianity,and that he already has a wife he wants to marry.so let him stand up to his parent and pls don’t leave him since he still loves u and has not change his attitude towards u.and pls be patient it not easy oooo
Ur husband has to be a man
He is a mummy’s Boy jare! Married with a kid and he is bothered by his mother’s Co trolling attitude? He shld stand up for himself and make it clear to his family that they have no say. He MUST protect you!
Well for me l think nobody can make a man do wat he doesnt want 2 do.Is ur hubby independent financially?If he runs his life then he should be bold 2 take his stand as a man n not be a baby husband
Yes, is your hubby financially dependent on her? If not you both need to form a formidable force on all fronts, spiritial, financial, physical and otherwise.pele!
Hmmm! Sum MIL’s sha. Your hubby shld stand firm n be a man.But most importantly pray to God to intervene.I wish u gdluck
She is old and isn’t going to change. You can either continue to play her game, which she seems to enjoy playing (knowing she makes you miserable is probably the biggest joy in her life), or, you can refuse to and get on enjoying youself. Remember, you ALLOW people to upset you. Please you have to tell your husband to man up here, he shouldn’t allow his mum ruin his life just like that, if possible advise your husband that you guys should relocate to another state…some mother inlaws can be difficult, you have to deal with them with prayers. My dear sister, am really so sorry you’re going through all this, you’re not alone cos God got your back…just keep praying God is still on the throne, you might think God is not listening but he is, am sure he’s the one that didn’t allow that Muslim lady not to return after 2months she left.God is with you.
Message.. Hnnnn
Hmmmm. Don’t even know what advice to give
My Dear
You have to leave the state if possible or the country out of her reach…. Let her keep controlling herself… Such women deserves distance
Your husband should put his mum in her right place, what nonsense is that?
MIL wahala
Its your huabands duty to refrain his mother from certain activities, its better to bear the name of a bad woman from your MIL than a broken home,give your husband enough heat that he woundnt know when he will pursue his mother nd the retarded wife they brought for him….. Your MIL has lived her life and nobody made hers like she is doing to you now….
Everyone has told u the honest truth. Ur husband needs to place his mom in her place. Secondly never allow another woman into your home. That Muslim girl shouldn’t have slept a night under your roof
Talk to your husband,he needs to do something.He even allowed the so-called 2nd wife to stay up to a month in his house?Hmmm
U and ur husband must stick together in dis trial period
The atrocities that happen in the name of marriage. God help women
The kingdom of God suffered violent and d violent take it by force,talk to ur MIL one on one let her realise if it happen to her daughter how wl she feel,sometimes people misbehave and they would’nt know talk to her i’m sure she wl change.Pray Atall Time And The Lord Wl Vindicate
its in bur husbands hands he nids to stand up
Na wa o God will c u through
MIL,na wa.ur husband has to be bold enough to know what he wants nd not what his mother wants.