Dear MIMsters: Why I Feel My Husband Isn’t Mine Even Though We Already Have Kids
My hubby lives abroad but we already have kids. Two sons to be precise.
While we were still dating, I had asked him several times if he’d ever been married, even if it were for the purposes of getting his papers. He would said no. I told him it was a deal breaker for me.
So, we had a lavish traditional wedding and a white wedding. Two weeks after, he carelessly dropped a divorce certificate for me to see. He had married and divorced a white woman.
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When I confronted him, he said that he had to do the needful so he could get his papers. I asked him why he had lied to me about it when and he carelessly waved me off.
Even though I now have 2 sons with him, I still feel like he is not my husband. The trust I had for him died that day. Besides, I don’t believe in divorce. But, as far as I’m concerned, he is someone else’s husband and I’m the one he is cheating with.
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Everyday, these feelings get stronger. He still lives abroad as I have refused to join him. I’m happier when he is not around. But I can’t go on like dis forever. What should I do? I know it may sound like it’s no big deal but it bothers me terribly.
Deceit. I almost fell victim of this. I would have been married to a deceitful man if God didn’t make his wife call me some months before the introduction. Yes mine was still married with 2 kids and I never knew. From the very beginning he lied to me and am grateful to God I found out in time because I don’t know what I would have done to myself if I had eventually married him and then found out. My advice to you, if you can, leave him because he lied to you and not because he’s divorced. He should have atleast told you. He owed you the truth.
Madam since you discovered this earlier in your marriage you should have done the needful then instead of getting pregnant. Am not in support of him not telling you about his marriage and to be honest most people do it to get their papers so don’t feel too bad about it. Learn to forget his past and love him for the man he is now.
He lied and I wonder why especially since you asked. Girls in Naija should know that most Nigerian men abroad marry to get papers except the person went to school abroad
Message.. U discoverd earlier n instead of u to divorce n go u said divorce is nt 4 u bah so stay put n carry ur cross. I jst dunno hw sm women reason atimes nw who is suffering of course u re. Bye
He is divorced ! The marriage was done under false pretext apart from feeling hurt that he lied to you try and work on your marriage and rebuilding trust….marriage is not all about the certificate it’s about the agreement to be together forever what he had with the white woman is a business transaction. .. talk to him about it and move on and start enjoying your marriage
In as much as the foundation of d marriage is faulty,l think ur kids need a father figure in their lives.U discovered d deceit quite early but chose to stay only to get fed up after two kids.lts too late to ponder on that.Think of that thing that made u stay after finding out d truth n patch up ur marriage from where u left off
It’s too late. You didn’t take action when u needed to. After two sons, it’s too late. See a councilor and resolve you feelings
I tink I get d angle from Wch u seeing tings if u feel bad abt it den u can walk away from d marriage.bt men n their lies sha.anything to get d woman
Since you discovered earlier you should have done the needful then instead of getting pregnant.You have to carry your cross now, learn to forget the past and love him for who he is now
U dont see him as ur hubby becos he lied to u yet u went aheed and had two sons for him
Hmmmmmmmmnnn
You better suck it up and endure because it’s too late.You felt that way yet you stayed back,had the 1st son,followed by the second.You have to find a way to start enjoying your marriage
If you feel this terrible, you would have done something immediately after the marriage. You can’t keep punishing yourself for a crime you didn’t commit, it’s time to move on.
Awwwww poster, if u thinks he is someone else husband after 2 kids you are joking. Forget the past, go join him enjoy your marriage
Frgt d past after 2 kids show love jare nd frgt dat, but if dnt which to join hm ther no problem at fr ur own safety, cos sometimes i dnt trust dis oyinbo ppl jare enjoy ur marriage dear