‘Free-Range’ Parenting: Modern Parents Share Their Views

Belinda Goldman subscribes to the ‘free-range parenting’ belief; that freedom to play outdoors and travel alone fosters independence and this is evident in how she raises her kids reports Daily Mail. The solicitor and mum of two had a free-range childhood herself.

10-year-old Isobel Goldman is also allowed to go with friends to the woods near where she lives in North London and take her 8-year-old brother Jacob with her, provided they are back home at an agreed time, usually within the hour. Isobel Goldman walks the ten minutes to her school bus stop alone, crossing two minor roads and one main road without any parental supervision.

47-year-old Belinda Goldman believes this freedom to play outdoors and travel alone fosters independence.

‘I was never a panicky mum and always felt sceptical of hyper-cautious advice, getting rid of my stairgates quickly and teaching my children to come down on their bottom. I’ve always felt children are robust and have to learn to assess risk themselves.’

Belinda’s ‘hands-off’ approach stems from a belief that parents have become over protective of their children, ‘I’ve been teaching them (Isobel and Jacob) road safety since they were little and will always accompany them a few times to make sure they’re ready to do it alone.’

The children have no fear of sharp knives and hot pans; they are able to rustle up breakfast of toast and scrambled eggs, having been taught the rudiments of cooking by Belinda.

‘I have a strict routine at home and disciplined at making sure Isobel and Jacob do their homework and go to bed at a certain time. But that doesn’t take away from the fact I want them to learn to navigate the world. I don’t believe in keeping them on a short leash. I want them to experience as much freedom as possible.
‘Isobel is proud of what she can do on her own and so is Jacob. They feel confident making decisions and trust their own judgment far more than other children they know.’

Belinda is part of a growing worldwide movement of people who believe today’s ‘helicopter parents’ panic needlessly about every possible danger and are depriving their children of an independent, adventurous childhood.

Michelle Thorne is another. The 40-year-old mother-of-three chose to live in the rural village of Baildon in West Yorkshire with her husband so she could raise her three adventure-seeking boys; 9-year-old Dominic, 7-year-old Alexander and 6-year-old Mathew as free-range children. They are allowed to play in the woods and stream at the back of their house where they can be out of sight for hours. Michelle says,

“Our boys are confident, independent and already making good judgments. I’m not going to closet my children on the basis of a worst-case scenario.
‘I’m more worried about what they’re watching on YouTube than anything in the woods.”

While 38-year-old Samia Dar practises free-range parenting in a slightly different way; she empowers her children by allowing them to make their own decisions.
Her 11-year-old son, Hashim, chooses his own bedtime and study time and his younger siblings, aged 4 and 5; decide everything from the clothes they wear and what they eat for tea to the toys they buy. Dar says,

‘Instead of nagging Hashim about homework, I tell him when he does it is up to him and I will be looking at his report at the end of each term.
‘I sometimes see him doing it at 11pm the night before it’s due but I stay tight-lipped; the consequences are his.”

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Child psychologist Dr Richard Woolfson believes young children can be easily distracted and don’t have the skills to evaluate all forms of risk.

‘If you give children too much responsibility too early they may feel uncomfortable and disorientated and their self-esteem could suffer,’ he says. ‘Eight or ten year-olds need parents to help and support them. A parent’s job is to guide and encourage, not take a complete step back. The level of abductions may not have altered significantly over the years but in the past there were fewer cars in the street’

While he too is wishful of the good old days where children played out on the streets, he admits society has changed. He further says that the risk of exploitation has increased tremendously with the onset of social media. He remains unconvinced about hands-off approach such as Samias’.

‘It’s good to encourage decision-making, but there’s a big difference between consulting with your child and letting them decide everything they do. Some children are too young to handle it and isn’t that what we, as parents, are meant to do?’ He asked.

There is a price attached to freedom, it is uncertain how parents should choose to allow their children negotiate the bend.