Dear MIMers: Should I Walk Away or Beg This Guy Who Keeps Breaking My Heart Again

I’m a 30 year old single lady in a relationship with a guy 3 years younger than I am. Our love story was wow in the beginning, but after a year, we started having incessant fights and arguments over real and trivial matters. We kept going back and forth because he likes keeping malice with me whenever we have issues. However, I call for truce most times when I get tired of fighting.

His parents really shower me with love, especially his dad, so, I have no issues with his family. The problem is just US. He says I don’t respect him and dress well. Yet, he is the one that set the several rules which currently determine how I dress. There are some dresses I cannot wear and he asked me to ensure all my tops cover my bottom if I must wear trousers. I adhere to it all without complaints but he still nags and fights me over my dressing and other trivial issues.

One of the trivial issues that has really threatened our relationship is my use of ‘one word response.’ He always complains bitterly that he hates to see words like ‘okay’, ‘thank you/thanks’, ‘very fine’, ‘I’m good’, ‘yes’, ‘no’, and so on as response to his chats. Initially, I thought it was only a joke, but I later realized it was not. He asked me to always buttress it with other words to make a sentence. And since I find it difficult to adhere to that instruction all the time, he sparks! I always apologize and explain that it is not deliberate except he wants me to start selecting my words as if I’m chatting with a stranger. It got to a level that I was no longer free chatting with him.

We were chatting sometime in March and the ‘one word response’ came up again. He withdrew immediately. We stopped communicating for days and I later apologized as usual. Later, he told me during a chat that he may have to end the relationship because I am stubborn. I was very pissed off and angrily told him to go ahead. I mean, I can’t imagine a man who claims to love me would quit all in the name of ‘one word response’. After much pleas, we settled our differences and moved on again.

After some weeks, I visited him, but to my surprise, he dropped the bombshell. He told me he was quitting because he doesn’t see himself being in a peaceful relationship with me anymore. I pleaded for another chance and promised to be a better person. Believe me, I did my very best. I initiated ways we could communicate and understand each other better, obeyed his many rules and all in order to restore our connection but all yielded no positive result. So, I relaxed!

As weeks passed by, I thought I needed to know where I stood with him. So, I called few days ago and asked what was going on between us and he said he’s not emotional attached or attracted to me anymore. It was not a good moment for me at all. He is not perfect or blameless. He’s got so many flaws which I try to tolerate and this is what I get in return?

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Even though I’m already 30 and get worried often, I am not desperate about getting married to him. Yet, it hurts. I’m a post-graduate student with no job yet, and now this? He’s not working either, but intends to go into ministry sometime.

Right now, I feel emotionally and mentally drained but physically, I wear a fake smile. I can’t even explain if I’m still in love with him or not but the fact remains that I’m lonely and depressed. I feel I need a friend, a shoulder to lean on.

Should I go beg him again or take my mind off the relationship and hope for better days ahead? Please advice.