Dear MIMers: Is it Wise to Marry This Amazing Man Despite His Family’s Depressing Attitude Towards Me?

I’m a 33-year-old lawyer from an affluent home. I met my 27-year-old prince charming (also a lawyer) in Abuja about 2 years ago after a terrible heartbreak. He was then in Abuja for his youth service and served at the law firm where I work. For someone just starting off, his brilliance was very impressive and this endeared him to everyone. We became very good friends and fell in love. After his service year, I pulled out all the stops and got him a very good offer at a reputable company in Abuja.

Meanwhile, shortly after we began our relationship, I met one of his two siblings (his married older sister who lives in Abuja) and perceived she wasn’t too pleased with her brother’s choice. I subsequently tried to win her over. I won’t say my efforts were entirely futile as she changed from being very cold to cordial. Still, our relationship is far from ideal.

I didn’t get to meet the rest of his family until after his youth service. Prior to that, we had spoken a few times via phone and they sounded quite enthusiastic. I also had series of video chats with his baby sister, who is now in her final year.

I expected a warm welcome when we got to Ibadan, as though I am not Yoruba, I speak the language very well because I grew up in Lagos and I’m also very homely. However, I perceived some hostility from his parents, especially from his mum, after they excused themselves to have a private talk with him. I pointed it out to him but he said we only needed time to really get to know each other and I agreed with him.

Sadly, almost one year has gone down the line and nothing has changed. I don’t need a soothsayer or priest to tell me they don’t like me at all because they show it every way they can. I’ve tried all I can to impress them to no avail. Even his baby sister doesn’t pick or return my calls and always ignores my chats. On the other hand, my family absolutely dotes on him. It makes him feel bad and he keeps reassuring me that his family will learn to accept me because there’s no other woman for him.

He will likely propose as soon as he rounds up his Masters degree programme as he has been talking too much about marriage and kids lately. I’m amazed at how hardworking and intelligent this man is; he doesn’t ask for anything and won’t accept help except when inevitable. Even then, he’ll make sure he refunds.

I see him draw plans to start our own firm and several other things he hopes we can achieve and I realize how much time and resources I have wasted all these years on frivolities. He inspires me to step up. He is the man of my dreams and makes me very happy, but I’m very scared about his family’s disposition towards me. I grew up in a very close-knit family and don’t know how I would cope with such hostility. Would you marry him regardless if you were in my shoes? Isn’t this a red alert we will have problems in our marriage? Do you think his family will eventually change? What if they don’t attend our wedding? Please advise.

Photo credit: istock