‘Daddy, do people come into marriage perfect?’ A Social Media User’s Reaction To What Pastor Adeboye On Marrying A Lazy Woman
Yesterday, social media was flooded with the news of the kind of woman a man must not marry. The General Overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, RCCG, Pastor Enoch Adeboye in a video shared on Twitter advised men not to marry women who are lazy, cannot pray for at least one hour and cannot cook.
The video has stirred up controversy on the internet.
A Facebook user known as Oluwatoyin Noremoreloss Idowu, , says, if a woman can pray for ten hours at a stretch yet can’t create a comfortable and hospitable atmosphere for her husband, her prayer is thrash.
He also pointed out that the most important thing to prioritise for the youths are a teachable heart, humility and understanding of purpose in life rather than laziness, cooking and being prayerful as a determinant for maintaining a perfect marriage.
Here is what he posted on his wall…
Good evening my peeps.
I just finished watching a video clip in which daddy G.O. of RCCG instructed the youths not to marry a lady who can’t cook, who is lazy and can’t pray for one hour at a stretch! Hmm…In as much as I was troubled and surprised to hear this coming out from daddy, a very strong voice to reckon with, I quickly tamed my thought that daddy GO is also a man of like passion so he is not above mistake…..the best of man will always be a man.
However, we will not keep quiet and assume all is well when all is not well at all because I know what this would do to a lot of relationships especially those guys in relationships or about to start a relationship who don’t know their right from their left!
Youths, here are my thoughts……..
1. Let me make it clear here that what daddy said were practically his own opinions and ideas and they don’t necessarily represent marital principles that cut across for every christian or RCCG member. Marriage is a very personal thing and what works for daddy may not work for me so we need to check what we roll out when we are in position of authority.
2. Don’t ever make the mistake of your life that a praying woman will definitely be a virtuous woman! When you read the account of the virtuous woman in proverbs 31, there was nowhere the virtuous woman was described as a prayerful woman. Everything that described her were mainly morals! Am I downplaying prayer in our relationships? NO, God forbid! But my point is to ensure we maintain balance. Prayer has it’s own place and can never be the major determining factor in choosing a wife.
Oh, I have met a lot of praying women who can do vigils on their own without any interference but their acts are worse off than those who never even stepped into church! I know some of such praying women who invariably lost their homes because of their irritating and annoying attitudes. The only thing they are good at is prayer and most of their prayer points even lack understanding. So what are we talking about?
3. Talking about women who can’t cook and lazy. Hmmm….daddy, do people come into marriage perfect? If not for marriage sir, some women won’t improve skill wise. Laziness in the first place is a relative issue sir. I know one of my former pastors who told me categorically that he doesn’t allow his wife to cook! They either eat out or hire someone come do the cooking. That was strange to me at first but then, it works for them these people have been married now for about eight years. The question is what works for you and what can you tolerate?
Besides, there is no hopeless situation. A lazy woman today if taught and put through, can change. A woman that can’t cook now doesn’t mean she will remain like that for life. What is the big deal about cooking? A lot of women learnt cooking after they get married and guess who worked on them? Their husbands and they did it with n stress. If such had ignored them, how would they have been taught?
Daddy G.O. I think the most important thing to prioritise for our youths here are a teachable heart, humility and understanding of purpose in life. If our women have these in thwir lives in increasing measure, the issue of cooking and house chores would be so irrelevant. These are the things I would have expected our youths’ attention to be pointed to because they are very deep attributes that make marriage work rather than talking about surface issues.
If a woman can pray for ten hours at a stretch yet can’t create a comfortable and hospitable atmosphere for her husband, her prayer is thrash!
If a woman knows how to cook very well but very cocky and lacks initiative, her cooking is meaningless. There are lots of women/mamaput centres out there that will satisfy the cravings of her husband.
If a woman is hardworking yet nags and is very apt at hurting her husband’s ego, her husband’s eyes would be blindfolded to how hardworking she is and at the end of the day, wind up frustrated!
Thank you!
Ur. On a point guy
Thnkx guy for ur re-direction
True talk
I applaud this young man because alot of young people are being misguided by this kind of preachings.
My thoughts exactly. Saying a woman is lazy because she doesn’t pray for at least an hour didn’t go down well with me
KK
I agree with this young man.
Praying is not what makes a good wife.
Interesting
I quite agree with him. Those are secondary as it were.
Gullible followers will not think like dis.
Rather than codemning the message, adding your own very thoughtful contribution would have been better. Nevertheless, it’s a good piece of advice. I’ve read power of a praying wife and I know the importance of prayer, the book lady in waiting emphasizes on prayer too. It is good for a woman to know how to cook, we all know that these restaurants are there for profit making. It’s better to hone your skills in your husband’s house rather than learn them there.
Cooking and hardwork may not keep a man but it’ll maintain the home. Christian women read the bible, meditate on it, don’t marry a man without a job.
Muslim women are tasked with learning the koran before marriage and a recital is held before the nikka ceremony. That’s the importance the faith pays to knowing the word.
Please don’t bring reproach to the Christian faith with tactless replies or clapbacks at pastors. You’re the bible some people will ever read.
Number one cause of problems in marital life is money. Don’t marry a man with no job. Don’t marry a man who can’t submit to God. Don’t marry a man who doesn’t pray, he is supposed to be a priest in your home. Don’t marry a man who spends carelessly, he’d spend your hard work savings.
Wish i could see dis young man and hug him….he’s so on point. Thumbs up.
okkk
No matter how prepared a person think he or she is before getting marrief, there’s still so much to learn once in. Kudos to that young man.
Daddy G.O is very on point. most of u viewed prayer on just an activity to keep the idea that one is born again but from Daddy’s point of view, you should also think prayer as a means of relating with God. cooking and better in executing house chores only point to how effective the woman have been able to keep her relationship at home. this won’t take care of what prayer will take care of in the home. Besides there are lot of forces that are against the marriage. Prayer will also help in bringing God to prune ur moral attitudes. u might be a good chef and home keeper but that is millions less guarantee that the marriage will last. if u can listen to the message; the myth of Singleness by Myles Monroe, u will understand Daddy’s emphasis on prayer. U need prayer to strengthen ur relationship with God which will in turn better help u in relating with ur husband. It will help to cover ur weakness. Feelings will sublime. The flames of passion will burn out and u need the one who is love to continuously feed u with love so that u can remain committed to ur husband and that u can do through prayer. it may not be stated there verbatim but If u think the virtuous woman of proverb 31 is not a praying woman, then how does she watch over the affairs of her household such that she doesn’t bring harm to her husband and even knows the instruction to give?. How come she is full of wisdom if she has not gotten from God? Read it again Susana Wesley, mother of John Wesley, has 17 children and were raised by her alone, as I heard and all are missionaries, how did she do that? Was it by moral instruction alone? Think Again. One hour of prayer is not a too high standard.
This guy is also misguiding us. As a woman you should learn how to pray before marriage. This is because there are wolves and forces that would fight your marriage. God would expect you to submit at all times. Do you think it’s Gonna be easy if the woman is not prayerful. There are times I had to use prayer to bring my man to order when I had tried everything else. When I tried and everything failed I would just pray about it. Even when we fought and it was getting out of control prayer and wisdom always worked. The virtuos woman in proverbs knew what to do at the right time. Do you think it was from watching telenovelas and gossiping . My dear no marriage can work effectively without God and we approach God through prayer . And don’t try to make yourself popular by your article. Some of these small boys can’t stand in front of their bosses and fathers to talk any how but can talk any how about men of God who do not talk to them personally. So funny. You need to learn how to speak, and the right time and place. I personally think you don’t have about one tenth of the wisdom this man of God has. Soo funny. No wonder there are a lot of misfortunes happening to youths now a days. Speak any how with know my right and I am a grown up syndrome yet they can’t face what some of these men have been through. If you have any beef go to him personally. Who made them judges at all. Just wait till you get to his age. No offences. God bless you
Personally, I don’t dispute the power of prayers in marriage, and I don’t think the poster nor people who have made comments think otherwise. However, putting a rubber stamp on the time frame for prayers is totally wrong. There are times and situations that call for prayers that last even more than 1hr and there are times and situations that call for 1 minute prayer. Even Jesus Christ our model at times prayed short prayers and at other times prayed for long.
Also, in addition to your strong prayer life, every woman ought to have good morals and character, because prayer alone would NEVER save your marriage if your attitudes and character towards your husband is wanting.
i see that prayer is now the problem because they can’t pray for an hour. a man or woman who is filled with the holy spirit and loves God won’t see an hour prayer too long to enjoy.
People don’t go into marriage perfect but they should atleast be prepared. Now, they say “don’t marry a man who has no job”, that means a man should be financially prepared before getting married. He’s supposed to be emotionally prepared too. The list is endless. Women should also be prepared for marriage. For instance, a woman may not know how to cook when she’s single but should learn before marriage.
Dear poster, your pastor friend hired a cook, that was his choice. Not all husbands would wanna hire cooks when they have wives and you can’t judge them for they choices they make because like you pointed out, what worked for ur friend may not work for others.. Even if they’d like to, not everyone can afford the services of a cook, so what happens?
I think the problem with SOME of us women is that, when thinking of/preparing for marriage, we channel our energy towards things that may not last…we shape our boobs, butts, legs, etc but forget about “shaping” our minds, our cooking skills, etc. We pay more attention to our hairs than to our heads. Little wonder that some may be offended by daddy’s post.
We don’t have to be perfect but we should be prepared because MARRiAGE IS NOT FOR kIDS.
As minor as it seems, bad food can send a man out. Oh, he may play mr. nice/understanding hubby by not complaining. He decides to eat good food outsite or hire a cook but can you trust the women who serve him??? We may not be perfect but should we carelessly leave the window (of our marriage) open for enemies to peep?
I may not agree to the “length” of prayer but my dear, we can’t do it without the help of GOD and that is through prayer.
As they say, work like everything depends on, pray like everything depends on GOd.
One love. God bless our marriiages.