Yesterday, social media was flooded with the news of the kind of woman a man must not marry. The General Overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, RCCG, Pastor Enoch Adeboye in a video shared on Twitter advised men not to marry women who are lazy, cannot pray for at least one hour and cannot cook.
The video has stirred up controversy on the internet.
A Facebook user known as Oluwatoyin Noremoreloss Idowu, , says, if a woman can pray for ten hours at a stretch yet can’t create a comfortable and hospitable atmosphere for her husband, her prayer is thrash.
He also pointed out that the most important thing to prioritise for the youths are a teachable heart, humility and understanding of purpose in life rather than laziness, cooking and being prayerful as a determinant for maintaining a perfect marriage.
Here is what he posted on his wall…
Good evening my peeps.
I just finished watching a video clip in which daddy G.O. of RCCG instructed the youths not to marry a lady who can’t cook, who is lazy and can’t pray for one hour at a stretch! Hmm…In as much as I was troubled and surprised to hear this coming out from daddy, a very strong voice to reckon with, I quickly tamed my thought that daddy GO is also a man of like passion so he is not above mistake…..the best of man will always be a man.
However, we will not keep quiet and assume all is well when all is not well at all because I know what this would do to a lot of relationships especially those guys in relationships or about to start a relationship who don’t know their right from their left!
Youths, here are my thoughts……..
1. Let me make it clear here that what daddy said were practically his own opinions and ideas and they don’t necessarily represent marital principles that cut across for every christian or RCCG member. Marriage is a very personal thing and what works for daddy may not work for me so we need to check what we roll out when we are in position of authority.
2. Don’t ever make the mistake of your life that a praying woman will definitely be a virtuous woman! When you read the account of the virtuous woman in proverbs 31, there was nowhere the virtuous woman was described as a prayerful woman. Everything that described her were mainly morals! Am I downplaying prayer in our relationships? NO, God forbid! But my point is to ensure we maintain balance. Prayer has it’s own place and can never be the major determining factor in choosing a wife.
Oh, I have met a lot of praying women who can do vigils on their own without any interference but their acts are worse off than those who never even stepped into church! I know some of such praying women who invariably lost their homes because of their irritating and annoying attitudes. The only thing they are good at is prayer and most of their prayer points even lack understanding. So what are we talking about?
3. Talking about women who can’t cook and lazy. Hmmm….daddy, do people come into marriage perfect? If not for marriage sir, some women won’t improve skill wise. Laziness in the first place is a relative issue sir. I know one of my former pastors who told me categorically that he doesn’t allow his wife to cook! They either eat out or hire someone come do the cooking. That was strange to me at first but then, it works for them these people have been married now for about eight years. The question is what works for you and what can you tolerate?See Also
Besides, there is no hopeless situation. A lazy woman today if taught and put through, can change. A woman that can’t cook now doesn’t mean she will remain like that for life. What is the big deal about cooking? A lot of women learnt cooking after they get married and guess who worked on them? Their husbands and they did it with n stress. If such had ignored them, how would they have been taught?
Daddy G.O. I think the most important thing to prioritise for our youths here are a teachable heart, humility and understanding of purpose in life. If our women have these in thwir lives in increasing measure, the issue of cooking and house chores would be so irrelevant. These are the things I would have expected our youths’ attention to be pointed to because they are very deep attributes that make marriage work rather than talking about surface issues.
If a woman can pray for ten hours at a stretch yet can’t create a comfortable and hospitable atmosphere for her husband, her prayer is thrash!
If a woman knows how to cook very well but very cocky and lacks initiative, her cooking is meaningless. There are lots of women/mamaput centres out there that will satisfy the cravings of her husband.
If a woman is hardworking yet nags and is very apt at hurting her husband’s ego, her husband’s eyes would be blindfolded to how hardworking she is and at the end of the day, wind up frustrated!