4 Working Mums Share On Dealing With The Mummy Guilt & Making Up For Lost Time

A lot of mums, especially working mums, feel guilty about a variety of issues pertaining to their children. Top on this list is the inability to spend as much time as ideal with them.

Get a few tips on dealing with this as these busy mums share their experience and how they try to make up for lost time…

Chibby Dangana

Mummy guilt! I smile at this phrase because it has been a regular feeling. I guess every other day you look back and check the boxes of things that have been achieved on the home front especially for working mothers like myself , you go, “Lunch box – Check, Laundry – Check, Homework – Check, Playtime with kids – Not checked, Bedtime stories/prayers with kids – Not checked,”  and so on and your heart really breaks at the thought. Whew!!! Can I ever get this right?

Well, the truth is that it’s all achievable to a large extent if you plan it out right and stop giving excuses for defaulting. As a mother, the constant factor is that we want the best for our kids, so we ought to be willing to create time to be with them. Set a ‘no excuses’ day apart to bond with your kids (weekends would work for most mums), if you have a house help it makes chores like laundry and all the domestic work easier, so, you can focus on the more personal bits like prayer time, bedtime stories, homework, et cetera. It’s not easy but with good planning and sacrifice, you can achieve more with your kids and feel less guilty about that job that steals so much of your time.

Chimdaalu Chinedu-Nwosu

Like most mums, the major cause of my mummy guilt is time spent away from my babies. I come from a very long line of career mummies; amazing women who made the fine art of juggling work and motherhood seem so easy, too easy in fact.

There are days that are easier than others. There are days when deadlines are lined up, literally bumper to bumper and I find myself staying in the office till it’s really late. On such days, the guilt becomes unbearable. When I finally get home, I find them curled up in bed fast asleep; my beautiful cupcakes. It simply breaks my heart, and sometimes I’d take my heels off, climb into bed and curl right up beside them, far too heartbroken to eat or even move.

The truth is, I have never successfully dealt with the guilt. It breaks my heart every time and I keep reassuring myself that doing my very best to instill in them positive values, be there for them, offer guidance and advice, show affection, put smiles on their faces, and all else I can, backed up with prayers, is all that counts. I have found comfort in the fact that, God willing, sometime in the future, my children will become adults who will be proud of themselves and as they grow, will see in me a model of diligence and hard work as well as the deepest form of love.

Precious Richard-Okon

I am a working mother of three of the world’s best kids.

Every time my phone rings, and I see the name of any of my domestic staff, my heart skips a bit! I’ll wonder what could be wrong or if someone was hurt. I have to deal with these fears each day as they will always call to ask me, what will the children eat or wear, when can they ride their bicycles and so on.

One may wonder why they call so often, well to be honest, I leave strict instructions to always ask or clarify with me. This is one of the ways I try to make up for not always being there. I feel that since I can’t be with them physically, the least I can do is make sure I am available to make decisions concerning them.

Dealing with mummy guilt is not easy and it eats me up to think I can’t be there 100 percent for my children. To make it up to them, I make sure that what I can’t do during the week, I make up for on weekends, public holidays and when I’m on leave. I also make sure I take them to parties and other fun outings. I enjoy my lazy Saturdays when it’s just I, hubby and the children…pure bliss! Until they start their trouble, of course. On such days, we play, watch TV, make waffles and take a walk to the store down the road to buy pastries. Those are my best times. Though they help relieve the guilt, nothing truly takes the guilt away.

Sandra Eva-Ejeje

I have a hectic schedule at work which sometimes involves travelling a lot. Like most mothers, I feel guilty about having to be away from them but it usually can’t be helped.

To make it up to them, I try to make sure my weekends are wholly dedicated to them. Another way I’ve been able to deal with the guilt is by ensuring that I take my annual leave when my children are on holidays. Nothing thrills them as much as having me with them all day! It keeps them looking forward to my next leave.