Dear MIM: Are These Reasons Enough To Quit My 2-Year Marriage?

Please, I need urgent advice.

I met a young man who was my older brother’s friend. He was working as a junior staff in a bank until he lost his job few years ago. Before then, he wanted us to date but I refused, though I liked him. We lost contact, but later got in touch and he told me about losing his only brother and job. We started seeing each other later and decided to get married. However, my brother was against it. He warned me, but I insisted because I was already working as a contract staff in a financial institution, though my pay wasn’t much and I was ready to start a family.

While planning our traditional marriage, I requested that we kept it low-key to minimize cost but he wanted an elaborate celebration. Eventually, he had his way and we had an elaborate traditional wedding, exhausting all my savings as he had no means.

We subsequently rented a 2 bedroom apartment. I had to borrow the money to make the payment for two years. All subsequent expenses on the property were from the little money I earned, and few months after our marriage, we started having issues. By then, I was already pregnant.

I began encouraging him to start working no matter how little he was paid to relieve my financial burden but he wouldn’t listen. I soon found out he was into gambling. He gambles every penny I give him. He also steals from me to gamble. These things annoy me. Meanwhile, when I was still pregnant, I was always pleading that we would soon have a baby and what I’m earning won’t be sufficient to sustain all of us, still, he made no effort.

To cut the story short, we started quarrelling frequently. He told me that he was not going to accept any menial job but will make it via his gambling. I complained to his family members but they seemed indifferent. I then decided to let him be. Then, I had my baby and the bills got too overwhelming. I was constantly borrowing to keep up and got very frustrated. I raised the issue with him again and since then, we’ve been having quarrels again. Now I don’t know what to do.

I have been the breadwinner since we got married two years ago, yet, he tells his family members that I don’t give him food. This is a man that in fact eats the choicest and largest portions of whatever I cook. He recently stole the money I begged my sibling to give me to buy a quarter bag of rice for our use at home, and when I confronted him, he said he did because I refused to cook any meaningful food, that he used the stolen money to eat. I was enraged because he knows I only cook such food when I am very broke. Is it not his responsibility to provide for us? I am still single-handedly paying debts for our 2-year house rent and he knows.

His mother is also now complaining that I am not taking good care of him, nor her; that I don’t give them money as if I am their God-sent provider.

Since my baby’s birth, I have been the only one providing for her, even all the hospital bills. I am just tired of the marriage and want to leave. Already, my family members want me to leave and face my future. He has also told me he doesn’t want me again, that I no longer exist to him and can go if I want. His accusation now is that I don’t love him because he has no money, or has not made money yet. I’m just so confused right now. Truly, I am no longer interested in the relationship. Should I quit? Please I need sincere advice.