How I Changed From A Miserable Married Woman To A Happy, Vibrant & Independent One

I am married to a very loving man and we are blessed with three kids. I performed my duties as a wife and mum without complaints but noticed at some point in our marriage, things were not going on like it used to. My husband became angry at the slightest provocation, would keep malice and hang out with friends on weekends, leaving me at home alone with the kids.

I would talk, cry, weep and even beg for him to spend time with us on weekends, but it was always one visit or outing to another. I craved to go out with him but he will always say there was no one to look after the kids. How about the chat from female ‘friends’ late at night and early in the mornings?

Whenever I spoke to him about them, he would say they are JUST his friends and should stop being a nag about the company he keeps. My heart always beat more and faster whenever I go through his phone. There were moments I cried uncontrollably, there were moments I had suicidal thoughts. My husband had become so familiar with me always being around and available. He knew that my world revolved around him because I had no friends to come visit and no calls, except from family members.

I finally got to a point where I said ENOUGH! I started to pray and seek God, renewed my relationship with Him but I did not stop there. I dusted my certificate and went out to look for a job. I finally got one that pays well. Then the story changed. I started to lose weight, dressed and looked GOOD whenever I stepped out of the house. I became so busy that when I get home, I’m so tired. So tired to even start checking my husband’s phone or bother about things that are not necessary. I made new friends that were nice and caring. My laughter no longer came from only my husband. Somehow I learnt to be happy on MY OWN.

Now, my husband that was always forming busy now craves for time with me. All unnecessary appointment during the weekend are cancelled. The table seems to have turned because now he is the one that wants to know every single detail of my day, from my association to my conversation. The jealousy knows no part two because I get compliments even in his presence.

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I am no longer the only one that says ‘welcome’ home every day or ask ‘how was your day’ because mine was always uneventful. I provide for myself without having to request for EVERYTHING. Now I can take my kids out without waiting for daddy to create time and provide money for us and surprise him from time to time.

Now I realize that as a woman, you have to be strong and independent. No man likes a CLINGY and MONITORING wife. Love yourself first – only then can you be loved right. Being married doesn’t mean sacrificing your dreams and individuality on the altar of ‘I am married’. Loving and living my life like KILODE!