Dear MIMster: How Should I Handle My Wife Who Stormed Our Home With Soldiers?
My wife and I had an argument or a disagreement, and she packed out from my room first, then our house. She moved with our two babies, a 15 months-old and a month old baby and most of her belongings. Little did I know that the next time she would be coming to our home would be in the company of soldiers.
I love my babies and care about them so very much. I asked her to come back but she refused. Rather, she insisted I come over to see the co in-law whom she ran to. He is married to her older sister. It’s like the man is summoning me over my own matter. And they worship him because he is richer than me.
This disagreement has nothing to do with infidelity, negligence, brutality, threat, public insult or violence. I have refused to see my co in-law and his wife, so I called their bluff, based on principle.
After one month, my wife stormed my house with soldiers and came to get her remaining things since I did not go to see my co in-law to resolve a disagreement that does not concerns them.
The first time she moved out, it was without my notice and without provocation, because had served my dinner the night before and in the morning, left with her car and six bags while I was sleeping. I thought she had gone to drop the kids at school.
After the invasion, I felt she is tired of the marriage, and then dragged her to court asking for a dissolution of the marriage and access to my babies, and she even accepted through her lawyers. After that, she became very bitter, very enraged almost to the point of dying and started alienating my kids from me. I haven’t seen those kids for close to two years, not even on pictures.
My questions are:
- why is she very bitter after proving to everyone that she is no longer interested in the marriage because people saw the soldiers she came to my house with?
- Does she feel scorned and so trying to make me pay or regret?
- Is there any man who will keep a woman who stormed his house with soldiers for a non-violent matter or is there a lady here who thinks she’s justified to do so?
Images: Getty
You carefully avoided disclosing the actual cause of misunderstanding(but rather disclosed what it wasn’t). That would have gone a long way to shed more light on whether she overreacted or not. I mean you are anonymous so that wouldn’t have been an issue. For me,the answers to your questions would depend on what actually was the misunderstanding
Abeg free her. Good riddance to bad rubbish. It’s because she sees you care much about her that’s why she’s misbehaving mtschew. No scratch that (all I just said). I think you need to pray for her and ask God to touch her heart and change her. Maybe you are not treating her nicely, could it be accumulated anger? You should have a one on one talk with her please so you know her plans going forward. If she wants the marriage good, if she doesn’t all good too but you should at least have access to your kids.
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I had when people are petty over flimsy issues, when adults act like kids for no tangible reason. This is a matter the two of you would have sorted out amicably like normal thinking adults, rather you both allowed it to escalate. If a woman is showing signs of bitterness in marriage, it is your duty as a man to reach out to your wife, why must you be proving tough, showcasing your macho for a woman that even the bible described as a weaker sex.
The two of you brought this madness to yourselves, so you guys should deal with it. When she moved out of the room was when you would have sorted the issues out.
you were not in charge of your home…
secondly you were too in a hurry for the separation anyway Good luck enjoy
Not seeing ur children for dat long doesn’t tell well abt u @ all.oga work on ursef biko!
some persons who haven’t experience this kind of situation wouldn’t know how it feels. Bro, for the fact she pack out willing and came back for the rest belongings with soldiers to clear up her stuffs, she doesn’t love you,.. supposing you refuted she packed out, those soldiers where there to do away with you… the children will soon start asking of their father. some families didn’t bring up their daughter’s in a proper orientation for marriage. so move ahead……. for me it is good riddance to bad rubbish.