Dear MIMsters: Should I Give Up My Kids To My Husband And Move On?
Minsters, before you judge me, please read my story. I would like to move on from this marriage.
I graduated from the University in 2009, served between 2010 and 2011, then started as road safety official in March 2012.
Before then, I was in a relationship with a man who claimed he was divorced. Immediately I got my job, he proposed but I refused. After much persuasion, I agreed but pleaded with him to wait until after a year before making babies due to the nature of my job, (we are required to lay off getting pregnant for at least two years) but he refused. He said that he was going back to UK, and it was the only way to prove that I’m not barren.
I agreed and discussed with my boss (didn’t know that my boss had an ulterior motive). In the 6th month of my pregnancy, my boss declared his intentions to sleep with me but I reminded him that I was married. He forwarded my name to Abuja, so I lost my job.
By early December, I gave birth. My husband threw my things out of our home because I went to visit my parents. Eight months later, he came with his elder brother and a friend to plead for forgiveness. I went back and took in again with my second child. We started leaving peacefully but by September 2013, his attitude changed completely.
He started keeping late nights, and passwording his phone. When I inquire, he will say that the were having a meeting. One day, I got hold of his phone and found out that he had lodged another woman in a hotel behind our house. I confronted him but got no answer.
He stopped providing for us and started bringing the lady to our home. I had to move into the guest room with my daughter. My mum died and so I went back to my parent’s house to help with the burial. While running around for the burial, I visited my house, only for me to find my husband with another woman different from the one he had been with. I have been through so much since the burial of my beloved mum.
I have decided never to go back to that house because I was diagnosed with high blood pressure in pregnancy. I gave birth and went to welfare. My husband was told to provide for his kids. He did for only 3 months and demanded custody of his daughters. They are 2 years and 11 months respectively. I had to withdraw the case. Now, I’m taking care of those kids alone. So, my question is: should I give him the kids, be free and move on with my life?
No way ma’am. Don’t u ever and when I say ever, I mean ever give up your kids for him. They are your joy. With God’s help u will be able to fend for them. Just hold on, there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
Message.. Dnt gv dose kids to him b4 anoda woman will maltreat dem, still go bk to de welafare n report he has fail in his responsibility by nt providing for his kids n pls move on wt ur life unless u re de type dat go bk to deir vomit. What a world hnmm God help ur pple frm evil men n strange shameless women
While will u move on with ur life without ur kids pls fight for d custody of ur kids and leave dat beast dat calls himself ur husband alone life is too short to remain misreable
Pls dnt give ur kids 2 such irresponsible man.A man who refused 2 pay his kids welfare?Pls get a job or a biz(no matter how small)n take care of ur kids alone if u love them.
They are girls, never leave them for anyone. But how could u open your legs again for a man who threw your things out? Jehova knows that I wl never give him a second chance not to talk of 3rd because I’m so confident like that.
Never ! He is clearly an irresponsible man he wouldn’t care for them properly
Those children will always be a part of your life. Move on but carry your kids along. Their father is irresponsible as it is, do you think those children will be well taken of? You alone can take care of your kids. God will send help to you
Don’t give him your kids o……start from the scratch and move on
Don’t give him your kids…they are still tender,need motherly care and love..please try and get another job no mattr how small..may God send you a helper soonest.
My Dear move on to were?
You are nothing without them and we’re ever you are you will never be at peace knowing you left them in the hands of strangers….. Even if it cost your life don’t let your children go please because in the future they would wipe your tears
Don’t give up ur kids. Get a job as fast as u can,cos if u r jobless,he stands a better chance of getting them. U must raise ur kids urself
Madam pls never leave your kids for another woman to cater for. Since you are graduate pls try getting a job no matter how little to take care of you and your kids. It might not be rosy now someday everything is going to be fine. And pls don’t deny the kids access to their dad.
Plz don’t leave those kids if he can stoop so low to bring women in the, when will he not make attempts on his own kids so may God strengthen and uphold u to move in wt d kids. I pray u find a payable job soon.
ders is no moving on wtout dose kids.were are u moving to now.don’t evr in ur life gv him dose kids cos u will regret.even if its only garri u can gv dem pls do.
Don’t give ur kids, get a job even if the pay is small like teaching which can allow you to be able to be with your kids most hours of the day, also go back to the welfare and report your husband. When your kids are off age you can get a divorce and move on with your life. God is able
Pls do not ever think of giving up ur kids.Get sumthng doing so he wldnt use ur idleness as an excuse to gain custody of de kids.He’s trying to take dem bc of his selfish interest.He doesn’t wanna kip sending money for their upkeep.And remember dat no woman will take good care of ur kids like u.
Marriages now a days are something else
Please and please do not leave your kids with that man because the woman she will bring in will use them and won’t train them. Take them with you and go back to welfare and report him. God will see you through
Please while you move on, carry your kids along never ever leave your children with that loser! They are your happiness,and they deserve the best. That man can never take care of them the way you will that is if he will even have time for them.May God send helpers to you. I wish you well.
Message..you will never b really free from your children,atleast wth you you are sure they are okey and safe. Raising kids is hard especially if you are a single mum.Am a single mum too and i would do anythng to make sure my daughter is happy even if it means sacrificing the things i love.sorry to say this man has been trying to ruin you frm the start,what makes you think he will giv your kids the love they deserve?
Its quiet unfortunate that the system you are living in does not allow a woman to get pregnant until after two years in service,again people are not always who they make make one believe to be,and your husband is one of those people who present a sheeps kind of character to the world yet inside they are just wolves,too bad so many things are working against you,but all in all do not let such pressures push you to becoming like them.leaving your kids with a father that by now you are fully aware that he is just an irresponsible and disrespectful man is just as good as abandoning them.this man may not change his character and most likely those kids will just suffer in his hands.trust me such an irresponsible man can only be frustrating you to give him the kids not because he wants to take care of them but because he just wants to make you miserable.just don’t give in.
Even if you want to move on, pls do it wt ur kids. They re ur source of happiness.
if you give him your kids, the truth is that your mind will never be at peace. you just have to sacrifice and take care of your kids your self.
Don’t give ur kids to him o.someone with that kind of attitude,u shud expect anything from him.just be strong.
That kind of man cannot take care of your kids.Please don’t give up.You will look back later in life and thank God you didn’t
Dear poster u have heard it all…….. Don’t leave ur kids dey are and will be ur source of happiness
Oh woman, this is your own story. Please and please, we are in this together only slight differences. I have the two of them with me and he does not even show up. But thank God I have a Good Great God and nice job that pays me well. Please do not leave your jewels with him. He is an irresponsible man. I thank my God you have a good career too and you can never suffer. Please take custody of your kids and start a nice beauty business on yourself-look good always and pray always. I know at times, its painful and you cry secretly but please see this as a season that will soon pass. Love you.
Dont even think of doing that,ur hubby is so irresponsible
Wherever you’re moving on to, please move with your kids, don’t ever give them up. It’s not easy but be steadfast God is not asleep.
Pls,it is well sis cos so far as there is life my sister there is still hope.
Neva u leave ur kids for him cos he cnt tk Kia of Dem as u wild.
For now dey r ur only source of joy nd happiness.Cling unto God nd dem.
Hold on to ur kids they r d only thing u got now
Those kids are your treasure, look at the evil going on in our communities lately. Don’t allow your kids to suffer for any reason, it’s not going to be easy but hold unto them. They will grow up and appreciate your sacrifices. The Lord is your strenght.
Why would you give up on your children, my God will always provide and protect them. Move on with your kidz and leave the sadists
i lagree totally with Kate. to leave your children with such an irresponsible selfish and wicked person will amount to an unforgivable act that the children will not forgive you for in future. these are female children that needs protection from not only society but abuse from relations and strangers alike. please keep them and give them the love they need. they will never forget you. move on with your life and pray God to assist you in providing for them, He will never fail. my husband left my son and i when he was seven years old. he used to move in with other women leaving us for months. i single highhandedly saw him through primary and secondary. he got married but couldn’t stay with her. today he is footing his bills in higher institution without me shouting oo. leave him to God , He knows how to punish them well. it is painful but please be strong. forgive him and move on . watch God fight for you. i am telling you from experience.