Dear MIM: How Do I Deal With This Bitter Ex Feeding Everyone Tales About Me?
I wrote to you few months ago after my fiancé who thought I was cheating pulled a knife at me. Read here.
Well, after doing a serious soul searching, I knew he was not the kind of man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I later found out that he was talking to other girls online and telling them he was single and wanted to date and marry them eventually. One of the ladies actually contacted me to verify from me because she had seen our pictures on social media, yet, after I told her we were still together, he still told her I’m his ex.
Armed with this information and findings from my own investigations, I told my dad I was not going to marry my ex and he understood. My friends thought I was crazy because it was few months to my wedding and all was set. He begged, his family begged and everybody around called to talk to me to change my mind.
To cut the long story short, I cancelled my wedding in April and have since moved on. The problem now is that my ex has become very bitter. He is spreading wild stories about me to the Ghanaian community here, which are not true. He says I am a big time cheat, wicked and bossy, adding other absolutely false details I cannot state here.
The most annoying part is that he tells people I left him for another guy when he has not wronged me in any way. Unfortunately, people believe him and I am now hated by many. The worse thing is that we work together. It’s all over the workplace that I left him for a richer guy. We are now like enemies. I try very much to be professional at work but it’s like some people are avoiding me because of the tales he has told them. My mum advised me to ignore the rumours. It’s really hard but I’m trying.
It’s been 4 months since I left him but the rumours are still flying everywhere in our community. I heard he is quick to tell anyone who cares to know bad stuffs about me. His friends who became my friends while we were dating have all joined in. I’m now an enemy to them.
I wanted to warn him to stop talking sh#t about me but I don’t want to give him the pleasure of knowing that it hurts me. I fear he may be planning something evil to hurt me. What should I do? I can’t quit my job because the pay is pretty good. Besides, I love my job. Please advise.
The best you can do is to keep swallowing the hard pill, if you try to put up a press conference, ie trying to explain to every Tom, Dick , Harry the real situation, that’s going to attract confrontation which might become ugly at the end. So please keep calm, something else will soon happen in your community that will become the talk of the town and yours will be forgotten.
Please ignore him, not easy sha
Those supporting him will not leave with him, so your life is so precious for you to to waste
Forget him and what he tells people. Let him keep talking so far you didn’t do any of the things he is claiming you did, soon the truth will be out and you will have the last laugh.
Just ignore whatever is going round about you. The mature ones would confront you to hear your own side of the story. Carry on like don’t give a damn na him go tire
My dear IGNORE him. I know it’s difficult but just try. Soon the truth will come out. I really do commend your courage in breaking up and cancelling your marriage. God will give the best husband ever!
First and foremost I must commend you for the bold step u took by cancelling d wedding. D truth is dat d so called guy never loved you cos if he did he wouldn’t be telling tales about you and he is not remorseful over his actions. He is telling all those tales so as to cover up his ego. He is immature. Pls ignore him,i know it is not easy but pls don’t confront him. God who exposed him d last time will expose him again and u will have d last laugh. Concentrate on ure job and make ureself happy.i pray u meet d right man
Do try and let this season pass with your dignity still intact. Leave him to his devices, the Lord will deal with him. As for the people that are avoiding you and making you their enemy, that was already in their hearts, they have just found a reason to latch their original hatred for you. Your true friends will come to you and ask or they will ignore him, because they know who you are. Just thank God that He has allowed you to see their hearts and intentions and you need not waste your time and emotion on them anymore. It will all be well, this season too will pass. Stand strong, you are an awesome African Woman.
nice one you did.mpst women av seen these signs n still gone ahead wt d marriage and are living in torture today…u strong n know your worth.since they are lies ignore him o matter how long you hide the truth it wd b revealed some day…just keep ur head above the waters
Now where are those who were advising this last to think twice before leaving him. Could this have been a good marriage. I don’t know whay is wrong with some women at all. A man raised a knife and you tell her to stay and marry. Happy for you girl. Just move on and report him to Jehovah man of war.
Put him on an invisible mode…. Live your life laugh more and show less concern….since no one has confronted you… Don’t quit your job.. Live your life to the fullest
am happy you took the bold step of leaving him. you would have made a miistake that will mar you for life. if i had left for good when i noticed my husband’s excesses, i wouldn’t have become a single parent today.he has not even changed. such men are arrogant, callous and unrepentant
as for what he is telling people, ignore him. it is not easybut try, he will soon make a mistake that will expose him . besides people will get tired of his stories. it is people with low minds that discuss other people. have you seen a dog playing with a rag?, that is how man’s reputation is, if you try to get the cloth from the dog, it will tear it to shreds but if you leave the dog , it will get tired and drop the rag. don’t worry God will give you your husband. God bless you my dear.
This idiot doesn’t deserve a word from you, he’s a looser and an attention seeker, ignore him and move on.
Juliet Aloaye i thought u were part of those supprtin her to stay wt him???
Good for you, girl. Now, next thing I would suggest is to take it up with your firm’s HR and your line managers. Workplace harassment is a serious offence and should be treated as such. A threat of a lawsuit or report to the police is also not a bad idea cos your well-being is at stake here. That should take care of the office drama.
As for the general public, well, those who know you & have regard for you will either not believe his lied or will confront you for the truth. The rest of the populace are not sweating over, girl.