7 Lessons Older Moms Want Young Moms to Know

There is no rule book for motherhood. Every woman has to figure it out as she starts the journey.

However, there is a wealth of useful knowledge to be drawn from the older mums who have been in the business for years and years and years. Here are a few lessons about motherhood that older mums want younger mothers to take not of:

1. Stop trying to be the perfect mother

Once you focus on trying to get everything right, you lose the fun aspect of your life and make it hard for your children to enjoy their childhood years. Take one day at a time, most of the time, your instincts are usually right about how to parent your child, so use your intuition to create safe, comforted, and loved children who are ready for each new phase of their lives.

2. Let it go

Instead of obsessing over things such as cooking every night, cleaning the house after work, or getting the children bathed and ready for bed at night, take precious time to enjoy the fleeting moments of their childhood. Sooner than later, you will have time again for the things you didn’t before, so enjoy the moments with your child while they last because time passes quickly. This is not to dispute that these things are important, but learn to just go with the flow and sometimes enjoy the setbacks and laugh, instead of obsessing over every little thing.

3. Be kind to yourself

Some days you will not get anything right. You will burn your children’s lunches or forget to pack their lunches, beat the traffic light and have the Lastma officers fine you, anything can happen and set you off course. Amidst all of this, remember to be kind to yourself, you are doing much more than you give yourself  credit for. Most importantly, if you cannot model self love, where will your kids learn it from?.

4. Do not feel guilty for working

If you work out of necessity or you are just following a dream, don’t beat your self up about it. Yes, your partner has a job, that does not imply that you have to take up the mantle of a housewife. As your children mature, they will eventually understand that you are providing for them and following a passion. Look at it as another opportunity to be a role model to them.

5. Do not compare yourself to other mothers

Comparing yourself to another person is never helpful. Every mother has her own unique gifts and talents. There’s no need to feel “less than” when you notice that your friend is a better cook than you are or that your other friend is an amazing professional who juggles work and home life perfectly. You might just be talented in other areas that they aren’t.

6. Learn to give your children space

There is nothing that children cringe at more, especially teenagers, than a hovering mother. Learn to give them space. Yes, it is important to never loose sight of what your child is involved in. Especially teenagers. Like who she is talking to, who he is going to play football with down the road, calling their phones every hour to make sure they are where they said they would be, etc. It is also important for them to learn how to figure out things on their own. They will never know how to handle certain emotions if you shield them all the time.

7. Let your children know you love them

You undoubtedly love your child, but how do you let your children know that you love them? Create special moments as much as you can, hold, soothe, listen, or play with them. Work will never stop or finish till life ends, so take time out for this special people in your life, so you can continuously  re-affirm your love to them.