4 Steps to Help Align Your Parenting Style with Your Child’s Temperament

The tricky part of being a parent comes with understanding the types of individual personalities your children have, and aligning your parenting style to fit their personality type.  You have to find the right balance between being a friend and a rule enforcer. Some children will listen when spoken to, while others will only listen after a spanking. Figuring out your child’s temperament relating with them accordingly will help to make your job easier.

1. Get educated

First, you must understand and accept your child’s personality and what is reasonable to expect from him. It will be unrealistic to have a shy child, and expect him to be more playful. It would also be unrealistic for you to get angry that he would prefer to sit beside you at public events,  than mingle with his age mates. Sam Goldstein, a psychologist who specializes in Child Psychology and is alsolco-author of  Raising Resilient Children, tells us to always member that every child is different, and so must be handed with different parenting strategies.

2. Measure your mindset

Every parent subconsciously believes that they have the best parenting styles and their children are the best. Your mindset has a lot to do with how you handle your child. Most African parents tend to utter statements such as, “He is the son of my flesh, he has to be this or that…”. No. Learn to curb your mindset or expectations, and deal with this individual as he is. Ready your mind to accept and know that everything you thought your child will do, he may not. He came into this world with a mind of his own, sooner or letter he is going to use it. Your guidance and direction is what is needed, not any forced efforts to mould him into a character you want him to be.

3. Make appropriate adjustments

For instance, if you are trying to make a shy child more outgoing, or reduce his level of anxiety when you aren’t around him, you will need to adjust slowly and patiently. Try letting him make a friend that he likes for himself, encourage him to go out and play, start off by being there during playtime. Then excuse yourself slowly. Try not to push him so hard that the possibility of success decreases, otherwise he may never adjust.

4. Work together as parents

Like all parenting, you and your partner have to be on the same page about your child and your parenting techniques.

“Parents have to collaborate, and temperament is one of those big-ticket items that parents end up not being on the same page about, with one parent thinking the child is manipulating and the other parent seeing the child is really having a challenge, Mom will say, ‘She’s really nervous about this,’ but dad will say, ‘Well, you’re too easy. You let her be nervous. You got to push her out there, “Dr. Goldstein says.

Only when both parties come to an agreement about their child’s temperament and then decide on the best ways to raise that child, will you both as parents begin to bring out the very best in your children.