Dear Mimsters: My mother convinced me to marry my husband but my heart is with someone else
I dated my hubby for 6 years before my mother convinced me to marry him. In our 4th year, I started a new job and all was fine.
I had a senior colleague who was always ready to help me whenever I had issues but we didn’t really converse. We only exchanged greetings but all my colleagues knew he liked me. He had been making a lot of background check about me to be sure I wasn’t engaged or in a serious relationship because he was ready to marry me.
6 months after probation, he was one of the team to appraise me and it all went down well. I was fully employed. We bacame close and the affection was so strong but we kept it to ourselves. I became disturbed about my hubby (then boyfriend) and decided to share it with my mother but she insisted I don’t leave my first boyfriend for this new guy (my senior colleague) who is all shade of a husband material.
Before I knew what was going on, my mother called my hubby (then boyfriend) to arrange the wedding. I loved him but the spark wasn’t there. I really didn’t feel complete with him. We got married as my mother wanted but I wasn’t 100% happy. My senior colleague beacame withdrawn from work which affected his performance and got queried twice. After 3 months he decided to move, we decided he changed jobs so we won’t see each other anymore.
We blocked ourselves on social media and all. I was living fine and he was fine as I thought until someone sent me a DM on instagram on my birthday after a friend posted my picture on her page. I was told this guy still has my picture all around his house but will never discuss me with any one.
His thought flooded my heart again and I felt like running away to meet me but I chose to be a good wife. Fast forward to last month, we ran into each other during a conference since are both in the same career and we were in the same hotel. We spent time together but no sex. Now we talk every minute, the feeling is stronger than ever. He will be relocating out of the country soon and wants me to go with him. I love this man with everything in me and want to go with him.
How do I tell my mother, my husband and the rest of the family? I am confused but I really want to be with this man. I need your counsel.
How are you sure this man is all you paint him to be? You need a big break to reevaluate yourself, life and marriage. Is this guy everything you think he is? I don’t want you making a big mistake.
You really need to be careful, it’s not always what we think.
hmmmnnnn…reality and appearance are usually not the samething