Woman Shares Her Struggle With Post Partum Depression After Death of Her Baby

After pregnancy, accepting your post partum body, dealing with the baby blues and the first few weeks of crying are one of the toughest things any woman can do. In the end, seeing your little angel makes it all worth it.

This was however not the case for Jessica McCoy. Jessica had to abort her daughter at just 6 months, because the baby had fetal abnormalities. Now she has to deal with  her post partum body. She shared a photo of her postpartum body as well as a heartfelt post about her body acceptance issues following the loss of her child on Instagram earlier this month.

I am not okay with my body, I think I would’ve been okay if Evie was here, although she would’ve likely still been cooking inside me. The fact that I am bigger than I normally am and don’t have my baby makes it harder. I dealt with a postpartum body after [my first child] Brennan, And I was uncomfortable in my larger body, but it grew my beautiful little man, and how could I be upset with it when I looked at him? Every day I get clothes on and they’re tight. And every day I’m reminded that I grew my baby for six months and she died. It really is a constant reminder to me.” She posted

Jessica, 27, told PEOPLE that she decided to share her story about her postpartum body after the loss of her baby, because it’s something that’s rarely talked about.

“I’ve never seen anyone post about their feelings toward their body after pregnancy loss, I’ve seen so many body positive posts by women celebrating their body because it grew their beautiful child, and I fully support that, but at this time, I don’t feel that. I feel anger toward my body. I feel like I can’t trust it. I feel broken. And every time I look in the mirror or put clothes on, it’s a reminder that my sweet girl is gone,” she shared.

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Her post has now been shared by many women and has been able to reach beyond just her Instagram followers. She says she hopes her post can help other women through their own healing processes.

“Many women experience body image issues on a regular basis, when those body image issues are coupled with pregnancy loss, it makes the experience that much more painful. It is a constant reminder of what could have been and it is hard to deal with having a different body and no baby to show for it. And hardly anyone is talking about it. I want to help with starting the conversation because it helps to know that others are out there, feeling the same way as you.”

Photo Credit: Instagram