5 Funny Things that Will Happen when You’re Holding a Sleeping Baby

You will never know how acrobatic or stealthy you can be until you have to hold a sleeping baby in your arms.

Picture this, it is 2 AM, and you’ve been up since 8 PM cradling a baby who refuses to sleep.  Suddenly you got lucky and the little angel started snoozing calmly.  All that is left is to maneuver your way through squeaky toys, your bra on the floor, daddy’s shoe and other hurdles having the dimmest light available to do that. Who is going to make it through? Mums of course! Some of them anyway, Lol. If you don’t know, you read it here first: Find out all sorts of funny things that are bound to happen to you the minute your baby falls asleep.

1. You get a strange cough or have to sneeze

You may even need to blow your nose, and of course your baby’s head will be nestled on your shoulder. You have to struggle to hold your cough in, or have snot pouring down your face like that of a toddler until you can safely but the baby down and blow or cough as loud as you can without waking him up.

2. Someone will come to your house at the wrong time

It’s so funny how after you have successfully put your child to sleep, this will be the time the gate man comes to ring the bell asking you to re-park your car in the compound, or when your church members have come to pray with you. Somebody will show up, just when baby has slept off, and you are trying to catch a little shut eye in the heat of the afternoon.

3. You will need to pee

It may take a very long time to get your baby to sleep. After hours of feeding, rocking, singing, humming and generally trying not to shout or cry, you will find that the baby only wants to sleep on you. When this happens, you will immediately realize that you are desperate for a pee. You will consider every alternative, but in the end, you’ll decide to take the sleeping baby to the toilet with you. This will make fastening your jeans very tricky, but you’ll manage. Our advice? Wear boubous at home.

4. Your phone battery will die

Most times, we find creative ways to use our phones when our children are asleep on top of us. You can take adorable pictures and record videos, and even catch up on your dwindling social life while you are temporarily used as a mattress. Then, comes the unbelievable –  your phone dies and you can’t get up to charge it. If you do however get up, you risk the chance of waking your baby, which means another round of singing, dancing and what have you. You may choose to spend the next two hours waiting for sleep to come or staring into space, forfeiting charging your battery.

5. Your husband will talk too loudly

Men tend to have very loud voices. He will shout to talk to you from downstairs, eventually disturbing the baby asleep in your arms. Even worse, sometimes, he will speak too loud from his side of the bed and that will wake the baby. On these occasions, it is totally ok to scowl at him.