Dear Mimster: What do you think the problem is with my wife?
I’ve been a male fan of this page for a while now. I brought my wife in as a fan too because of the things I started learning here.
On June 12 next month, we will be having our 7th year anniversary. We were classmates in nursery and primary schools, lost contact for 18 years and when we met again, it was not long after I proposed to her right there on the roadside. I’m a year older than her and we are both graduates.
We have actually had our fair share of marital ups and downs, especially as it took us 5 years to have our first child. I’m quick to anger, this I know and she is in the habit of doing things or asking questions a graduate shouldn’t do or ask.
Whenever I’m provoked, the worst I have done is shout or scold her, but never to the hearing of anybody else or sometimes walk away. She likes repeating things that annoy me. She apologises when I complain and it won’t be long before that same shit happens again.
The problem now is due to my work, my wife and I live apart, so I get to visit my family only on weekends or when I’m on vacation. When I want to share certain achievements, emotional breakdown, failures or any encounter during the day with her, she never picks her calls. I can’t do this with just anybody else! My wife’s words when I’m down can resurrect the Lazarus in me. I remember last week, I wanted to share one of those experiences with her on phone and she didn’t pick her calls, didn’t call back until I called again.
We have 2 kids together, 2 years and 6 months respectively. So if (God forbid) there’s an emergency around me or the kids at school, will it take eternity for my wife to respond? She’s not usually too busy in her office. What then is her problem? Can someone talk to me? I feel pissed off already. Right now, I’m planning not to go home this weekend as a means of illustrating my anger. What do you think?
Please go home and talk with her about this. I am like your wife oh. Taking calls most times can be overwhelming. I can’t stay longer than 5 minutes over the phone. If it’s chat, I can do that for ages lol. Maybe you guys should try chatting about things and see how that works out. Unless maybe she’s not interested in any. But go home and iron things out with her. Running away won’t help.
Something is weighing her down. Taking care of those two kids all by herself and the stress of work may be getting at her. U need to sit down with her and discuss how u feel. Stop yelling at her. Me as a person ,i hate it when my hubby yells at me. I dont accept dat cos i’m not his dog.Make her open up by showing her love and understanding. She sure will open up
I am worse than your wife o. My phone is always buried in my bag. My husband used to joke that I won’t be the first person he will call in an emergency. It is easier for men to carry their phones on their bodies because their clothes have pockets. For women our clothes don’t have pockets and we tend to put our phone in our bags. Once we get home we drop the bag somewhere and get involved with other things. On the issue of scolding and shouting on your wife because she repeats the same things.I stand hbold to say your are the reason why she is doing this and I will explain. Your reactions have set her on edge so much that she will only continue to make mistakes. If you correct her from a place of love and not anger you will see improvement as she begins to trust you again. With you shouting and scolding she will be anxious and she is learning that you are critical of her and she cannot be vulnerable with you. iYourt is also a sign of rejection – that gou cant accept her for who she is. Your choice of words is also telling like your use of” shit” and that she asks questions a graduate should not ask. It is very degrading and condescending. How woud you feel if someone you love says that about you. It is an indication of pride and arrogance. You also need to check your attitude. Nothing good can be achived by not going home. Go home and talk to her from a place of love understanding that you also are not perfect and she is not complaining about your inadequacies. Also apologise to her for the times you have “scolded and shouted” at her. She is only human. Lastly pray continually for grace to be the kind of husband that God has called you to be. I wish you the best
I love this piece.weldone,i hope he sees sence in it.
Bri has said it all
i go with bri on this…
I noticed nobody is talking about her calling back a missed call, which is considerate! that’s the main problem (communication). like the way my wife those; she puts the phone on a cupboard, table or high places with vibration and loud ringing. if she can’t talk that time she receives and tells him to call back or she calls him back due to attending to children needs..