Dear MIMsters: My SIL has dragged me into a war I know nothing about…
We got married in 2014 and we are blessed with a son. There is this cold war going on in my husband’s family who behave like siblings from different parents and I have been dragged into it. My hubby is the last of five men and one woman. Their only sister who now happens to be my sister-in-law, my hubby and his immediate elder brother are in one team.
After our wedding, my SIL warned me not to go close to her brother’s wives because she already had issues with them and claimed they came to destroy the family. I agreed not to fraternise with them but I always greeted them when we met on the way or at church. I never knew that SIL had spies who gave her updates.
Fast forward to when I gave birth in 2015, SIL came to the house, I was alone. My mum went to get some stuffs and hubby was out on an errand. We gisted for a while, after which I begged her to let me sleep a little because I was so tired. She agreed and told me she would leave and return later and I said OK.
Immediately hubby returned, she came and told him that I asked her to leave the house with the excuse that I wanted to sleep. The issue that erupted out of this is story is one for another day. Since then, I haven’t had peace in my home. She has a strong influence over hubby as he always does what she says. My hubby changed completely and started maltreating me because he said his sister told him I have been meeting with the other wives and they have corrupted me and they will not allow me join them in destroying their family.
Now, hubby makes love to me only with condom and only when he wants with the excuse that he doesn’t want another baby yet. He cheats on me with whoever he wants, even on our same street. I have caught him before and when I complain, he will beat me. He abuses me verbally, emotionally and even physically.
Things that were normal have now become issues. I am so confused to the point that I am very careful of what I say or do as I don’t want to create any more problems. He kept telling me that his mind has been poisoned and he does not want the marriage again. I am sex starved as he hardly touch me. I always apologize even when I do nothing wrong, I beg him, do everything I know as a woman and I keep praying.
Last week, we had a little misunderstanding and he started beating me, shouting at and embarrassing me in the compound, saying that I am evil and he will kill me if I don’t pack and leave. I don’t want to cheat on my husband and I don’t want to leave my son and my marriage because I know that he was not like this before. I am losing so much weight because of this and ashamed to go out. I just manage to go to work. I have been thinking and crying alone. Please I need your sincere advice on how I can handle this and bring back peace to my home.
Must you be in the house? Separate from him please and let’s see if his sister will marry him or take care of him as a wife would. He is cheating and enjoying his life and you are suffering and growing lean about it.
My dear it’s time you push harder. I mean pray until something happens.
this is prison